


Whatever Words I Say

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe- non magic, Band Fic, Celebrity Marauders, Desi James, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Israeli Remus, Jewish Remus, M/M, MS - Freeform, Misgendering, Multiple Sclerosis, PR Agent Remus, PoC, Slow Burn, Thai Sirius, Trans Sirius, Transphobia, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5730019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus Lupin is hired to control the antics of famous lead singer of the Marauders, Sirius Black, he knows he has his work cut out for him.  Sirius is contrary and has absolutely no chill, and loves pissing off the press.  Remus feels up to the challenge, but he certainly does not expect to fall head over heels in love from the moment he meets the charismatic singer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Frenchpadfoot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchpadfoot/gifts).



> So this is dedicated to trippywolfstar for their birthday coming up soon. I've got some free time which I'm using to dedicate to this-what's turning into an incredibly long fic. A couple of anons wanted a band fic where Remus has to control Sirius, and that Sirius is super famous, so I tried to combine all of that in with trippywolfstar's bday headcanon requests.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys. Part two should be up soon.
> 
> If I've left out any tags, please let me know. Thank you! x

James was on the sofa, giving Sirius a somewhat withering glare, and Peter was sat at the small, round table trying not to catch anyone’s attention. The large telly in the background was playing the latest gossip, all of which had to deal with Sirius Black and his current conquest. A scandal, of course, because they were both what the public considered Hollywood Royalty, and devastated by the alleged break-up.

“We can’t keep doing this, you realise,” James said, glancing over at Regulus who hadn’t looked up from his mobile. With a frustrated growl, James balled up the paper sat in front of him, and lobbed it at the Younger. It smacked him right upside the head, and he looked up, a mildly irritated look on his face. “Isn’t this part of your job?”

“Controlling him?” Regulus asked, jutting his chin at his brother. “What the ruddy, shitting hell ever made you think I could?”

“Isn’t that why we hired you?” James mumbled.

“Well it was before you became actually famous,” Regulus pointed out, his attention right back to his mobile. “And I was just trying to make sure my brother didn’t go and do something stupid. Like get himself killed or…lose his fashion sense or something.”

Sirius laughed, sticking one of his clunky motorbike boots up on the table as he leant back in the chair. He picked at the chipped polish on his thumbnail and grimaced. “I need a manicure.”

“Sweet fucking Persephone give me strength,” James breathed.

Sirius smiled, all teeth. “Listen, first of all I didn’t actually have an affair with her. I’m fucking gay. Like the gayest gay who has ever gayed. Everyone knows it. Secondly, she was bored and we had like four drinks and I snogged her a little because I just wanted to check.”

“Check what?” James asked, his parent-y tone seeping into his voice and he tried to control it. Harry was at home with Lily and he was not Sirius’ father, as much as he felt like it sometimes.

“If snogging girls was still shit.” Sirius dropped his boot and leant forward toward James. “For the record—it was.”

“Yes. We know,” Peter added unhelpfully, “because you told everyone on twitter.”

“Oh sod everyone,” Sirius said, flapping his hand at both his bandmates. “Look, are you really going to make a big deal out of this?” Sirius sat back and glanced at his nails again. “Reg, my sweet darling, adorable little brother, see if they have a manicure service that can be sent up to the room. I don’t want to get to the set early tomorrow.”

“The set tomorrow,” James said through gritted teeth, “is why it’s a big deal. Do you realise they’re going to ask you about it? And they’re going to expect and explanation.”

“And when have I bowed to the media, James? When have I bothered to cater to those fucking white, hetero, cis-normative shitbags who view me as some sort of token trans person? They’re going to ask me about Kellie, then they’re going to bring up the fact that I’m brave for being fucking rich and famous and refusing top surgery and not passing like they want me to pass. So fuck them.”

James deflated almost immediately, and settled for pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “You know I’m not going to argue that. You know I hate them just as much as you do. However, we’re on a press tour, then we’re on our major six month tour, and _then_ we have to go home and record and I don’t fancy you having another strop about everything and spiral.”

“I do not spiral,” Sirius replied.

“You do a little,” Peter added.

“Wormtail…sod off,” Sirius snapped.

James looked over at Regulus who had just ordered Sirius’ manicure. “Really? You can’t do anything about this? Do you recall how exhausting our last tour was.”

Regulus actually had an expression at that question, and he gave a withering sigh. “Don’t famous people have like…PR people. Isn’t your wife the head of a PR firm?” Regulus asked.

“Yes,” James said, his tone still tense. “Only no one wants to work with Sirius.”

“Intimidated by my criminal good looks and animal magnetism,” Sirius said.

“Yes, sure. That,” James said. “Point being…”

“Ask her again,” Regulus said. “Otherwise you’re just going to have to deal with it.” With that, Regulus rose and gave James’ head a pat. “If you need me…”

“We won’t,” James grumbled. “Bloody useless manager. What’s the fucking point.”

Sirius laughed again and jumped up from his chair, plopping himself directly on James’ lap. He grabbed his best mate by both cheeks and kissed him very softly on the mouth. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Yes, my love,” James said, his voice softer than before. He ran his hands over the back of Sirius’ french plait, then kissed the tip of his nose. “Yes you do. Because I cannot take it anymore.”

Sirius nuzzled James’ neck, then rose. “Suit yourself. But people don’t want to work with me for a reason. No one can handle me.”

James set his jaw, bound and determined. “I’ll find someone. I swear I will.”

Sirius winked as he reached the door. “You tell yourself that, darling. Meanwhile, I’ll be off being pampered. You know where to find me if you need me.”

When the door slammed, James turned to Peter and shook his head. “Doomed?”

Peter nodded, leaning his head on the table. “Double doomed.”

*** 

Lily tried to ignore the messages as she sat behind her desk, pinching the bridge of her nose. _How_ she’d ended up where she was today was a mystery to her. One she wasn’t sure she wanted to solve. Never in a million years, in a million different universes, did she think she’d be married to James Potter.

Mother to his child.

Running a PR firm because it was the only thing she could do considering somehow her husband and his best mates from school managed to turn their shite little indie-punk-techno _whatever_ band into something people actually wanted to listen to. She could recall at school hearing their _sound_ and it made her laugh until she cried because she swore the pair of them were Ross from Friends with his keyboard and funky noises.

But then one day they played Frank’s birthday party for twenty quid and a bottle of the local’s whiskey which Frank had access too since he worked down at the village on weekends. He was also able to book the gig.

And hell. They were good. Even she had to admit that. 

It certainly was something, seeing James and Sirius up on the stage, each holding a mic, their voices rising and falling in tandem. She sure as hell hadn’t realised James could sing, that was for damned sure. He’d gone all out—and it was just gone the turn of the century which meant he’d escaped the hideous boy-band, baggy jeans and bowl-cut hair, which perhaps lent itself to why she’d fallen so hard for the prat she’d been avoiding all these years.

Maybe it was also that he and Sirius were so in sync with their moves. Like they’d rehearsed them—and probably they had at least a little. But no one else in the school could achieve such symmetry and as much as she hated to admit it, it was dead sexy.

Of course James was more reserved than Sirius, the latter preferring to engage the crowd, to rock his slender hips and show off his tight, well-formed calves in his leggings long before they became an actual trend. James would rock his body in time to the techno beat they had blaring out of the speakers in time to Peter’s rough drums, holding on to the mic as though it was the only thing keeping him upright.

Lily could see the appeal of the pair. James and Sirius. Sirius and James. If Sirius hadn’t been a raging queer, she might have considered going after him at one point.

But it was James she’d fallen for.

It was James she’s fucked on the football pitch six weeks before they took their exams. Their exams—the day she also learnt she was pregnant but of course she kept that to herself until it was over and the boys were all getting pissed and she, who could and often did drink them under the table, refused to have even a single drop.

Sirius worked it out first, grabbing her by her lower belly as they were sat on the sofa of his newly acquired London flat. “You’ve got a little surprise in this uterus, babe?”

Lily’s pink cheeks gave it all away as Sirius crowed a laugh. She looked at James who was staring at her, half-wankered, mouth hanging open. “Fuck,” was all she could whisper. James was on his feet, hand in his hair, fumbling for his smokes and the door to the terrace. She knew she should go after him, but she couldn’t get her legs to work.

“You know, there’s jabs to prevent this. Pills, even,” Sirius said. “I, myself, take some every month.”

Lily rolled her eyes, shoving Sirius’ hand away. “Yes but that’s because you’re a fucking boy with a uterus, and I am a girl with a uterus.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “There’s still birth control.” She started to get up, but Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. “Give him long enough to finish that smoke, alright? He’ll be excited.”

“How?” she demanded. “How the bloody fuck is he going to be excited about the prospect of teen pregnancy?”

“Because like so many other things,” Sirius said levelly, “teen pregnancy carries a societal stigma assuming teens are incapable of being responsible parents. Which is a lie.”

“You read that off a facebook meme?” Lily demanded, giving in to her irritation and fear because she was nineteen and about to become a mother, for Christ’s sake.

“I’m socially aware,” he said flippantly, and pulled her in to kiss her cheek. “Whatever happens, I love you.”

Lily felt her shoulders deflate a little. “Thanks. But will he?”

“You asking me if creating a mini-James isn’t going to make him the happiest fucking shithead on the planet?” Sirius asked with a laugh. “He’s going to write a hundred songs about that kid.”

In the end, once Lily was sure she didn’t want James to give up the band, nor did she expect him to be there once The Marauders actually took off and started getting popular—and once he realised she was still his Lily who had her own ideas and own life which just happened to be complimenting his own, it was alright.

They even asked Sirius to be Harry’s godfather when he was born.

They spent Harry’s first six months of his life in Bangladesh where James’ parents had decided to finally retire, and then The Marauders went on tour, and Lily went to University.

Now she was somehow the head of this PR firm and mostly she was happy. Except with this Herculean task of finding someone who would, essentially, agree to babysit Sirius and for the first time in the five years they’d been properly signed and touring with a big music label, attempt to head-off any potential scandal.

Which was stupid, because scandal was Sirius Black’s religion.

A stark contrast to the Black family religion which Sirius loved to talk about. How his mother had met Orion Black when he’d gone to Thailand and immediately fell in love—though he didn’t entirely tell it that way. Something about how Orion’s deep-rooted English desire to colonise everything he came into contact with, and how is delicate Christian sensibilities led him to converting his wife to the Anglican Church where they were quickly married and settled in Chelsea.

“I only know Thai because she used to scream it at me when I was a child,” Sirius once told a candid interviewer on some American chat show. “So mostly I know the swears. Not very Christian-like, let me tell you. But it was helpful to know what she was shouting at me as she kicked me out of the house and insisted I never darken their doorstep again.”

“And that’s when you went to live with your bandmate, James?”

“Mm,” Sirius said, grinning his wicked-sharp smile at her which made a blush rise high in her cheeks. It was always a mystery to people who really knew Sirius how he could charm so many with just a look. Then again it had worked on them once, just in different ways. At least, it had been that way for Lily. “The Potters took me in as their own, of course. No questions, just open arms. They’d always been really good about everything.”

“You’ve been very open about the fact that around sixteen you were openly trans,” the interviewer said, stumbling over the words a little, but Sirius didn’t lose his patient smile. “Were they accepting?”

“Course. Then again, they didn’t know me as different, you know.” Sirius waved his hand impatiently. “I don’t think it would have bothered them even if they had, but it’s hard for me to remember a time I’d ever call myself pre-transition. I knew I was a boy from a very early age.”

They went on to talk about the stories Lily had heard once the rumour had hit the school about Sirius. James and Sirius had been in several fist-fights after that, and Lily stopped talking to her once-best friend Severus who started the whole thing because, it turned out, he was a bit of a bigot and how the hell was she supposed to abide by something like that?

So this was her life now. Lily Evans—she’d never got round to changing her name and didn’t want to, even though she did enjoy being married to James and loved the Potters as much as she loved her own family. Successful business, successful mother, successful spouse and friend.

Unsuccessful because not a single agent in her firm was willing to take on this contract.

Except maybe one.

Remus Lupin, who had just been hired on.

Remus had been recommended to Lily by Alice, an old school mate of theirs who rang Lily up once a month for lunch and a chat about mothering and anything that wasn’t talking about James Potter, Sirius Black, or Peter Pettigrew. Alice was one of the few who could remind Lily what it was like to have some idea of normalcy, even if it was whislt they were ignoring paparazzi stood at the window snapping photos which would, inevitably, end up on some skeezy website a few hours from then.

“You remember him?” Alice asked over their coffees. “He was that Welsh bloke.”

Lily shook her head. The name sounded familiar, but she couldn’t put a face to it. “We knew him at Hogwarts?”

“Briefly. Pretty sure he was in the boys’ dorm, so maybe James and Sirius remember better than you. He didn’t stay long. He had a funny accent on account he spent a lot of time in Tel Aviv?”

It was coming back to her now. Remus, a very quiet boy with very dark, wild curls, intense eyes, a fantastically large nose, and slight overbite. He was taller than all the lads, including James whose height was fairly impressive even now. He’d come to school in funky, second-hand clothes, and even donned a yarmulke because his parents were strict Orthodox. She remembered now, what a big to-do it was because Remus had politely—very quietly—asked for Kosher accommodations to be made in the kitchens and everyone but the Headmaster had seemed to think it was outrageous and unreasonable.

Remus hadn’t stayed long, not through sixth form.

Something happened and he’d disappeared.

She said as much to Alice who sighed. “His mum died. His dad whisked him back off to Tel Aviv and he finished school there. Uni as well. We kept in touch through email. When his dad died, he inherited the property in Cardiff and moved back. Been working there for a while, but he’s in London now and he’s got a degree and everything. Let me get you his CV, yeah? Just give it a look?”

How could she say no?

And for his part, Remus’ CV was impressive enough that she offered him a job before the interview began.

“I’m not sure you remember me,” she said as he took a seat in her office.

With a polite chuckle, Remus shook his head. “Of course I remember you. Lily Evans. James Potter was the bane of your existence.”

His accent was nice, she mused. Almost soothing in a way. And she thought it was hilarious that, of all things, that’s what he remembered. “And how far I’ve fallen.”

Remus laughed. “I always thought he was nice. We didn’t get to talking much, of course. But I knew under that big head was a decent sort.”

“Yeah well, that remains to be seen,” she replied with a wink.

They caught up a bit, he accepted the job, and so far it had been very good. In fact, they became rather fast friends which Lily appreciated. Remus was fairly mild-mannered, though had a sharp tongue and quick wit which was necessary in the business. But he was an open book, at least with nearly everything, and at least with her.

Peering out her office window, she chuckled at the sight of Mary leant over Remus’ desk, chatting away with _that_ smile on her face. Over the last three months Lily learnt Remus was openly gay, though never spoke about it to workmates, which was likely why Mary thought she had a chance with him.

Lily also learnt he had MS, something he’d been dealing with for the last three years and did well on his medication. Time off would be necessary but with someone like Remus, she was happy to give it without question.

Really, she thought as she sat there, thumbing the rim of her mug which held her now-cold tea, the only thing she had to do was convince him.

With a sigh, Lily pushed herself up from the desk and opened her office door. Mary gave her a somewhat startled look before rushing off and when Remus made eye contact, Lily rolled her eyes. “Lunch? I’m starving.”

Remus shrugged. “Alright. You want to order in, or brave the outdoors after that report last night.”

Lily fought back the urge to rub her eyes. James begged her to stay away from celebrity gossip, but as half her clients relied on her knowing what was what, she couldn’t that. And of course, of _bloody_ course, Sirius Black’s alleged break-up was trending on twitter.

“I will kill him,” Lily said when James rang her that evening to say goodnight to her and Harry. “I mean, he’s replaceable.”

“Yeah, except he knows he’s not,” James said tiredly.

That’s when the subject of her trying harder to find a PR assistant came up and now she was going to try and seduce Remus with a huge pay rise and promise of decent friendship or…or whatever it was he asked for.

“Let’s just go down to that little chippy, the one we can get to from the alley. I seriously need something fried.”

Remus shrugged and agreed. He was vegan, but the chippy offered a decent variety of veg dishes and he pretended that there wasn’t cross contamination in the fry oil. “I cheat,” he said to Lily the first time they’d gone out, and he helped himself to a bit of cake which had plenty of milk and eggs and butter in the recipe.

“What about the Kosher thing?”

“Well considering I’m a rampant Atheist who celebrates the High Holy Days by habit not belief,” he said, and trailed off with a shrug.

She laughed and ruffled his hair. “Miss that little yarmulke of yours though.”

“Oh fuck off.” He grinned though, and she thought maybe it was the moment their friendship was solidified.

The pair of them managed to sneak out the back, round the corner and slipped into the chippy without being noticed. She knew the photographers wouldn’t be hounding her until there was more drama and confirmation of Sirius’ antics. They had a chat show that morning where they would be performing one of their newest singles, and then the tour would begin in a week. That’s when the drama would begin, inevitably—and Lily just had to convince Remus and get him out there and on the bus before it left.

They snagged a table near the kitchens, far from the windows, and Lily went up to place their orders. When she came back, a couple of fizzy lemon waters in chilled glass bottles, she levelled a look at him. “So. Remus. Are you happy with your job?”

He gave her a withering look. “Why don’t you just out with it, Lily. You’re no good at this whole chat-up small talk.”

Her cheeks pinked, and she rubbed her face. “I’m prepared to offer you an obscene salary and let you bribe me for nearly anything—including my first born if you want him—if you’ll take the Marauders on as a client.”

He barked a laugh. “Me?”

“Because it’s a job you’d need to do er…on the road. With them. It’s not even the Marauders. It’s…”

“Sirius,” Remus said softly. He shook his head. “That is a hopeless cause.”

“Not necessarily,” she argued. “It’s only, previously all my agents give up at the first bit of trouble and…”

“First bit of trouble. You mean Sirius’ rather effective decision to run them off. I wasn’t exactly mates with them at school, but I recall what it was like if you got on James or Sirius’ bad side.”

“They’re not fifteen anymore,” Lily groaned, begging the universe to just give her a sodding break for once.

“No. They’re now twenty-seven and very rich and _famous_ and I happen to know what that does to a bloke’s head.” Remus sighed, uncapping his water to take a long drink. The food was ready, and the pair sat in silence for some time, picking at their lunch. “Do they know you might be sending er…someone?”

“James is the one who requested it.”

Remus groaned. “You want me to tour with them. As in trapped on a bus, trying to mind Sirius Black and keep him from doing anything scandalous—in spite of the fact that scandal is what literally keeps him alive. Like the sun and food and fucking.”

“You’d be surprised at how little he does the latter,” Lily said dryly. “He’s more about the rumour than the actual act.”

Remus shrugged. “Fine. That’s not entirely the point though, is it. He’s going to run me off and as much as I want to, I’m not always entirely well.”

Lily gave him a short look, then reached across the table to palm his cheek. “Please. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“I’m your only hope,” he finished in a tone as dry as the deep desert.

“Just give it the old Gryffindor try, yeah? For me? Because I’m a lovely friend and I can make you rich beyond your wildest imagination. Or…close to it, anyway.”

Remus groaned, but by the look on his face, she saw he was going to give in. She could cry, really. It wasn’t the first time she’d sent someone out to her boys, but Remus was made of sturdier stuff, and she told him as much.

Rolling his eyes, he sighed. “When do I leave?”

“Three days,” Lily said, trying to control her voice. “Harry and I will be coming out when they get to LA, so I’ll check on your progress then. And you know you can phone me at any hour. And if anything comes up, health-wise, you know you can come home.”

Remus let out a small breath. “Alright. But you owe me. I’m not even going to say what yet, because I’m going to come up with something really good. And unpleasant.”

Lily laughed. “If you can make him even sort of behave for one whole tour, I’ll do anything you ask. I swear.”

“Oh,” Remus said, meeting her gaze. “I know.”

*** 

“I can’t believe you did it.” They’d just come off the interview portion of their morning, and they were now in make-up. Sirius was sat in front of the mirror, facing off to the side as the make-up artist for the show painted a long stripe of black across his eyelid. “A fucking babysitter. I’m going to make you regret this, James Potter.”

“It’s not a babysitter, it’s someone to help with damage control,” James said. His make-up had always been minimalist, to go with what Sirius called his rugby reject aesthetic. James was currently in a pair of form-fitted jeans with carefully designed rips across the thighs, and a tight black t-shirt with an orange Phoenix on the front. His eyes had one smear of black kohl across his lower lid, a few brushes of heavy powder to take care of any shine, and just a smudge of gloss across his lips which he hated.

Sirius was far more glammed up, orange and red shadow across his lids to match James’ shirt, his hair swept into an intricate top-knot, a violent, dark purple lipstick smeared over his full mouth. He was wearing leather trousers today, instead of his customary leggings, and a flowing, sheer lavender tunic-like shirt which came just below the elbows, showing off the tattoos along his left arm.

They hadn’t seen Peter yet, who was likely getting their sound set-up, but more than likely he was in his usual baggy jeans, button-up black shirt, and woolly beanie. He’d always rejected the idea of make-up, though could be talked into it when they were doing music videos. But he was the brains of the operation, taking care of all their beats, and played at least nine different instruments on their track, including all the strings, so none of them were hard pressed to be fussed about his appearance on stage.

“Listen,” James said, when it was clear Sirius’ pout was not going away any time soon, “will you please just be a professional for once.”

Sirius pulled away from the make-up artist to give James a withering glare. “When am I not?”

“Do you want an answer to that, Sirius. Because I’ve kept a list. Detailed. With times and dates and…”

“Fuck you, Potter.”

James chuckled, and moved to take the make-up artist’s place when Sirius was finally finished. Taking care not to disturb anything, James cupped the sides of Sirius’ neck, and stroked his thumb against the skin. “I love you, Padfoot. And I know you’re…I know none of this is easy for you. Having people digging into your past, your family, your love life. I know it’s not easy having people ask you about your anatomy like they have some fucking right to know, like it somehow matters…” James’ voice went hard and frustrated with that last, and he cleared his throat and took a breath. “I get why you want to rage against the establishment, to fuck with the media. But it’s not making it easier on anyone. Not you. Not me and Pete. Not Lily, or even on Harry.”

Sirius winced at the memory of his godson having once been accosted by some uppity reporter who decided to stalk the boy at his school and attempt to get an exclusive during his lunch.

Of course both the reporter and the publication had been sued, and their reputations dragged within an inch of their lives—Sirius was fairly sure she wasn’t working anywhere near journalism and the website had been shut down. But it reminded him that his actions sometimes did have consequences and he most certainly didn’t need some blonde bitch with a pink iPhone asking a nine year old boy what his godfather had on under those trousers. And what he did with it on his free weekends.

Sighing, Sirius leant forward and wrapped his arms round James, pressing his cheek to the smooth design on the front of the shirt. “I know. I’m sorry I just…”

“I know,” James repeated back to him. “Come on, we’re due for sound check in a few minutes and you know how Peter gets if we’re late.”

Sirius hopped off the chair, then checked over his appearance one last time before letting James’ fingers twin with his, and they headed for the main stage.

It was New York, and it was autumn, so it was chilly but not unbearable. The Marauders were on their US tour, spending more time in the States than Sirius ever had a mind to do. A few morning chat shows, a couple of late-night ones, then they’d hit the road, play their sold-out shows at the major cities across the country before heading home.

He was looking forward to something more routine, of course. Of going in for the day to write and record, then to slip into his comfortable bed in his flat and sleep without the sound of the road and the lumpy caravan mattress under his back. Not that what they had wasn’t the most posh. Sirius was and always had been a rather spoilt brat, but it wasn’t home.

And he knew he was acting out, but it was hard to help it some days. All he had were James, Peter, Lily, and Harry, and two of the four were stationary in London where he couldn’t see them whenever he wanted. Regulus, of course, was always round, but his relationship with his brother remained strained since the falling out with his parents.

The three years his brother had shunned him weighed heavy, and he would never love anyone and want to protect anyone the way he did with Reg, the trust wasn’t ever going to be there. Not the way it was with James or Peter. James and Peter, who had always accepted him for who he was, never tried to misgender him when the small, eleven year old held up his chin and said, “I’m a boy.”

James, who had shrugged one shoulder, then slung his arm round Sirius and said, “So you reckon you’ll try out for rugby or footie?” Then didn’t bother to take the piss or question him when Sirius decided that he was interested in neither.

Peter, who had stolen fashion magazines off his mum for Sirius when he was experimenting with his glam-goth phase, had never suggested he “just be a girl,”. And Peter who had never really stood up for anything in his life was the first to take a swing when Snape and his mates started spreading rumours about Sirius.

Loyalty for Sirius was hard to come by, but it ran deep. And it was unwavering. Which was, perhaps, why he was so resistant to the idea of someone else coming on board to disrupt their small community. Sirius didn’t let people in easy, and he wasn’t interested in getting to know anyone else.

“You’re late,” Peter whinged a bit, giving the pair of them a shove toward the doors. The cameras were set up, and there was a massive crowd outside. The blonde lady who had interviewed them earlier was smiling, waving them out, and Sirius rolled his eyes a bit as James shuffled forward.

“Excellent, right on time,” she muttered, giving them a once-over with her small eyes. “I’m going to introduce your set, then you’ll play. I think only about two minutes will be live, then we’ll cut for ads and after we’ll have a short recap before moving on and you’ll be free to go.”

Sirius grimaced, but James nodded, his soft, placating smile making the woman’s shoulder’s relax. He leant back against Sirius. “Not long now, then we’ll be heading back to the hotel.”

Sirius huffed, but put his hand at James’ hip and squeezed it. “Yeah, alright. But we’re finding some way to go out tonight. It’s New York so there’s gotta be some place.”

“You’re going to kill me, Pads,” James said as they were now being directed to the stage.

Sirius grinned. “But you love me.” He adjusted the stand on his mic, wishing a little he had a headset instead as his body was thrumming with energy and he wanted to dance. But it would do for now. Peter had turned everything over to the studio DJ who was managing their tracks, and he took a seat at the drums, twirling the sticks in his hands for a moment as he smiled at his two bandmates.

Sirius glanced over at James who was gripping the top of his mic with one hand, then looked over at Sirius with a wink. Sirius nodded, then looked back out to the crowd which was screaming and holding up signs with various messages, phone numbers, emails, photos they’d printed off the web. All of it standard fare, and all of it giving Sirius a huge rush of ego and pride.

They had done this on their own. They had cultivated and grown their fame and talent and he would be nothing other than proud of himself. He refused to give in to the critics who accused him and James of using their connections and money to buy their fame. He knew how hard they worked, how many hours they stayed up writing songs, developing their own unique sound so they’d stand out. Only they had the memories of playing the shitty little pubs and doing gigs for pints and chips and a whisper of a hope that someone would notice that they deserved it.

It was a double-edged sword.

Sirius had always buckled under scrutiny. He had worked hard to be where he was with himself and it wasn’t easy to bear the brunt of being trans and famous. The constant questions, learning how to cleverly deflect questions about surgery and genitals and misgendering. How many times he went home and curled up under his covers after enduring, “So when you were a girl,” from people who really didn’t care at all.

It was lonely. Achingly, powerfully lonely.

“…without further ado, The Marauders, playing their current hit single, Sing for the Stars.”

The beat began, and all thoughts of anything but the music were gone. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius could see James moving in time with him, in sync as they had always done. His feet were shifting back and forth, one hand bracing himself on the mic, head tipped down as it rocked from side to side.

The words were building in his chest as Peter’s drumbeat counted them in. He took a breath, and didn’t even need to look over at James to know they were together. They were one in the music. Sirius’ voice melded with James’ and the words came out, and he was gone.

*** 

“Christ that was exhausting.” Sirius pulled a face at James who was swiping at his skin with make-up remover. He batted his friend away, but James—having gone through the motions with his son—ignored Sirius and got the singer’s face clean. “When is this babysitter getting here?”

“He’s not a babysitter,” James said absently, binning the wipe. “He’s a PR agent. And he should be here sometime tomorrow evening. Lily’s arranged his flight and she thinks we’ll all get on really well. Apparently he was at Hogwarts with us.”

Sirius froze, turning slowly. “What? Like…in our year? In our house?”

“Mm Hufflepuff, I think? Or Ravenclaw. I forgot to ask. Name sounds familiar though.” James thumbed through his mobile. “Er. Lupin. Remus Lupin?”

“Lupin?” Peter picked his head up from under the pillow he was pressing over his face. “He was in our house. In our year.”

“Our dorm?” Sirius asked.

“No, he was only there for a couple of years. I think he came in third, left right after GCSEs.” Peter leant his head on his hand, elbow propping himself up on the bed. “You really don’t remember him? Bit barmy, made that big deal about kosher meals in the kitchens.”

James’ eyes widened. “Oh my god. The one Snape…” He trailed off and Sirius was struck hard with the reminder.

“We never got friendly, but I remember that,” he said quietly. “Was he alright?”

“Think so,” James said with a shrug. “I feel like a right arse that he didn’t make a bigger impression on me.”

“I think that was the point. Why he was so quiet,” Peter said. His mobile began to buzz, and he sighed. “Gonna take this. See you lads in the morning, yeah?”

James waved him off, and when Peter was gone, he flopped down on the bed as Sirius sat up, struggling out of his shirt. “Help a bloke out?” he said with a small pout, flicking at the edge of his binder.

James rolled his eyes, but sat up and patiently wriggled his fingers under the tight material, letting Sirius shimmy a little until it loosened. Then Sirius lifted his arms as James pulled it off, and he let out a huge groan of relief, flopping onto his stomach.

Reaching over, James kneaded at the skin gently, easing out the tense muscles from the tight binder and from being on stage and in front of cameras all day. Sirius groaned into the pillow, turning his face to bat his eyelashes at James.

“Told you how much I loved you?”

James snickered. “Not lately. But I think I’ve worked it out after all these years.”

“Mm, good.” Sirius snuffled into his pillow a little, shifting closer to James and smiling when his friend pressed a soft kiss to his temple. “So Lupin. And Lily reckons he’s alright?”

“You know she wouldn’t send anyone awful on the road with us,” James reminded him.

Sirius took a breath. “I know. And I’m trying not to be unreasonable. I promise I am.”

“I know, love.” James moved his hand into Sirius’ hair and began to stroke it until the singer started to drop off into a slumber. “Get some rest, alright. We’ll get it all sorted in the morning.”

Sirius snuffled into his pillow again, and before long, he was out.

*** 

Remus did not enjoy his flight to New York. He didn’t enjoy flying at all, honestly. He preferred to have his two legs on the ground and not hurtling through the air unnaturally in a giant mass of metal. But he was doing this for Lily. Well, he was doing it for Lily and the massive pay rise which could really only help things if his MS progressed to a state where he couldn’t work at all. Not something he actively thought about, but something always in the back of his mind, especially when he had bad days.

Like today.

Which was just his luck, really.

It started with the cognitive lapses. He was attempting to check in for his flight and couldn’t remember what he was supposed to do once he got up to the counter. The ticket agent was unerringly patient with him, however, and eventually he remembered to check his luggage and pay for the flight, and take his boarding pass to security.

When he sat, his feet began to prickle violently, and the muscles in his thighs felt like they were going to give out. It spread to his hands, making it nearly impossible to grip his coffee, but there was an hour before he had to board, and by the time his seat was called up, he was feeling a little better. Tired, but ready to just get the flight over with and be back on the ground.

It was too long, but smooth for the most part, which left the feeling of hurtling into the ocean in a ball of screaming bodies and flames tucked into the back of his mind, and he actually got a little bit of sleep after they served what could barely be described as a meal. The vegan option was really just horror in a small, plastic rectangle, so he opted for a glass of juice and the promise of a good, hearty, over-large American meal the moment he was on the ground.

He counted himself lucky to have taken a fairly empty flight which left him without a seat partner, and the ability to look out the window whenever he fancied.

He arrived at JFK completely shattered and convinced his body was going to give out on him. But he made it to the baggage claim where he got a small trolley to haul his two cases, and followed Lily’s explicit directions to the visitor’s area where he was looking for a smaller version of Sirius Black.

“This is him,” Lily said, showing him a picture of Regulus. “Just look for some ex-scene kid on his mobile. I’ve already sent him your info, so he knows who to look for.”

Remus would have laughed if the description hadn’t been so accurate. Regulus looked strikingly like his brother, with more squared features, but there was no mistaking the siblings. He wore his hair longer in the front than the back, his fringe sweeping elegantly over one eye in a way Remus would never ever know from his own mop of mess he called hair.

Regulus was there as promised, wearing jeans so tight Remus thought they might have been painted on, and white shirt-sleeves rolled up to the elbow. He recognised Remus almost instantly, saying nothing but giving him the, “Follow me,” jerk of the head as he led the way to the main doors.

There was a car waiting, not quite a limo, but a far cry from the tiny automobiles bashing about London streets. His cases were unceremoniously thrown into the boot, then Regulus climbed in and shifted over to make room for Remus.

The driver gave them a quick glance before heading out, and Remus stared round in wonder now that he was seeing how the other half lived.

He didn’t get the celebrity impression from Lily—mostly because she wasn’t one, and she insisted when James was home it wasn’t like that at all. When he had been invited over for tea, he had seen their modest house. It was only a couple of rooms, and Harry remained, for the most part, unspoilt. He was a polite kid, too, and Remus took an instant liking to him. He was snarky, which Remus had a deep appreciation for, and he asked a lot of questions.

So this was definitely new. And different. And incredibly intimidating.

“Ready for them?” came Regulus’ quiet voice, and Remus startled a bit, looking up.

“Sorry?”

“Lily did warn you, right?” Regulus asked, and glanced down at his mobile again. He tapped on the screen a few times before giving Remus a slight grimace. “About my brother?”

“I’ve been at the firm for quite some time, and I do follow the tabloids.”

“Mm.” Regulus gave him a careful look. “I’m not entirely sure that’s enough to prepare you for his dramatics.”

“Well I do remember him from school,” Remus offered.

Regulus laughed. “So just add to that too much money, and the ego the size of Jupiter—strike that, an ego the size of the fucking star he’s named after—and adoring fans pledging their undying love for him. Oh and other celebrities as well. And you’ll see what you’re in for.” Regulus sat back, crossing his arms. “I’ve made a bet against you.”

Remus quirked a brow. “I’d take that bet, but I don’t want you to look too foolish.”

After a second, Regulus barked a laugh. “Evans might be right about you. You might be made of stronger stuff than the last.”

Remus felt his cheeks pink. “She said that.”

“She did,” he confirmed. “But we’ll see. I’ve seen my brother work hellish miracles on the psyche of unsuspecting PR agents. I just hope you’ve got a decent backbone.”

Remus wanted to make a quip about his failing limbs and not having much choice, but he decided that was left for a better time. Between him and Lily, they decided to leave the MS out of it unless it became an actual problem, because the last thing he needed was Sirius Black assuming he wasn’t capable of performing his job.

With a sigh, he leant toward the window and watched the massive city fly by. “I guess we’ll see,” he eventually offered.

Regulus gave him nothing more than a small grunt.

*** 

The Marauders were set to meet Remus at the hotel restaurant, James faring better than Sirius who had been nursing an agonising hang over all day. They’d found a couple of clubs, and Sirius had gotten pissed enough to get on the bar for a dance. The videos had long-since made their way round tumblr and twitter and even facebook. A few people who had managed to get into those clubs who were not celebrities had blogged about it, not that it was anything new.

It was fairly tame compared to what Sirius had gotten up to in the past.

They had a private room in the restaurant, and Sirius was poking at a plate full of roasted veg James insisted he eat in place of the greasy burger he was certain would cure his hang over. In compromise, James let him order a massive bloody mary with six olives, and he was sipping on that now as he speared a bit of asparagus with his fork.

“Reg text yet?”

James looked up from his soup. “Yeah. They just pulled up. He’s got the busses sorted now, so we’ll board once they get all the equipment on board. Lupin’s riding with us.”

“There’s not room,” Sirius muttered, biting the end of an olive off and then using the small, plastic sword to saw into the centre of it.

“Regulus offered his quarters, said he’d ride with the crew. Seemed happy to do it,” Peter said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Of course he is. Well…whatever. Just don’t expect me to like him. Or want to be mates. Or…anything.”

James snorted as he watched Sirius saw the olive into tiny bits. “Woudn’t dream of it, love. Now eat your veg. You won’t feel better until you do.”

“I’d feel better if you’d let me get a morphine pump,” Sirius whinged.

“That’s not legal, darling.” James took another bite of his soup, then his head snapped up when the doors to their private room slid open and Regulus walked in with their newest member.

Remus looked nothing like any of the Marauders remembered. At the time he’d been too skinny, tall, a smattering of scars, and looked disturbingly under-fed.

Now stood before them a man who had most definitely filled out. His shoulders were broad, his hair still an untamed mess, but the yarmulke was gone and so where the patchwork clothes. He was wearing comfortable jeans and a collared shirt, a small smile which showed his front teeth poking into his bottom lip.

His massive hand extended out for James, who took it as he rose. “Potter.”

“Lupin, hi,” James said, and the memories of him came back. They really hadn’t ever got friendly, but he remembered thinking Remus had some wit and character to him. And he trusted Lily implicitly. “Call me James, please.”

“James then.” Remus looked over at Sirius who hadn’t even looked up, the singer still sulking and stabbing at his olive.

“Ignore him. He’s in a strop,” James said from behind a sigh. He sank down and motioned for Remus to take the chair between him and Peter.

Remus said his hellos to the third Marauder, then took the menu James passed over. “I’m actually starving. I had no idea plane food was that horrifying.”

At this, Sirius actually let out a small snort, though he didn’t say anything other than to take a noisy slurp of his drink. James sighed, then smiled at Remus. “Well feel free. We’ve got loads on the busses of course, but it’s not as good. Touring wreaks havoc so we try and get our nutrition in when we can. And speaking of…Sirius, don’t make me bloody spoon feed you.”

Sirius scoffed under his breath, shoving a V up at James, then took an over-large bite of the veg and made a huge show of chewing with his mouth open.

Remus tried not to roll his eyes as he gave his order for a salad with seared tofu. When the server disappeared, Remus sat back and observed the band for a long moment. “So lads. Been a while.”

James laughed. “You know, I almost didn’t remember you when Lily mentioned. Until Peter brought up the kosher incident of Oh-One.”

Remus blinked, then laughed very quietly. “Right. Yes. That was…well if the yarmulke hadn’t solidified my position as the school’s token Jew, that sure as hell did. My mam was…insistent.”

James shook his head. “Helped us sort out a few things though, so I reckon we owe you.” When Remus raised a brow, James leant toward him, “Helped he realise her shite friend Snape was a total bigot and it was when she stopped hating me so much.”

“Only a little,” Sirius cut in, speaking for the first time. “She mostly hated you until upper sixth.”

James shrugged. “Yeah well, got the ball rolling, didn’t he?”

Remus shrugged. “Glad that my Jew powers were used for good.”

Sirius laughed quietly. “Jew Powers. Oh my god.”

Remus grinned at him just a little. “Well with all the anti-Semitism, it’s the least the universe could do.” 

James had a small smile, but didn’t say anything until Remus’ salad arrived, and he tucked in. They ate in relative silence for a bit, then James sat back, holding his spoon and pointing it at Remus. “So, Lily explain everything, did she?”

Remus clasped his hands, tucking them under his chin as he rested his elbows on the table. His eyes flickered over to Sirius, then at Peter who looked like he was about to fall to sleep, then looked back at James. “She gave me the basics. Provide a buffer between…the band…”

“Me,” Sirius said, sulking just a little.

“Well whomever might require a buffer,” Remus clarified. “But considering the state of the headlines lately, yes. You.”

Sirius scowled, looking away, and didn’t say anything.

“Obviously there’s going to be an adjustment period,” Remus said as he let his hands go and went for his fork. “This is really my first high-profile job.”

“Because no one else wanted to take it,” James put in.

“Thanks for that, Prongs.”

Remus blinked, then laughed as he speared a bit of tofu with his fork. “I remember that. I remember you calling each other that. Prongs…was it Padhoof?”

“Padfoot,” James said. “And dear old Wormy.” He winked at Peter who blinked sleepily, then smiled. “If you’d stuck round you’d have gotten one for yourself as well.”

Remus laughed a little. “No way I was cool enough.” His fork moved toward the plate again, then his fingers spasmed and it clattered to the table top.

James blinked in surprise, and saw a faint blush rising in Remus’ cheeks. “Alright, mate?”

“Clumsy today. Probably the jet-lag.” Instead of picking up his fork, Remus used his other hand to pick up his napkin and swipe at his mouth. Pushing the plate away, he folded his arms over his chest.

James gave him a careful look, then rose and reached into his pockets for a handful of notes. He left them on the table, then beckoned everyone along out the main doors. There were a few paparazzi out, having been stalking the band since the tour busses pulled up, but James was able to usher everyone on without any major incident.

Remus looked a little disturbed by the whole thing, but seemed to take it all in stride as best he could. The doors were shut, and within ten minutes, the driver was pulling onto the main road.

“You can bunk there,” James said, putting his hand on Remus’ arm and pointing to Regulus’ previous lodgings. It was a small bed, similar to a caravan up against one of the walls. The bus itself was incredibly posh with huge, squashy sofas, and a small kitchen. The driver was sectioned off with a massive partition, and in the back was a larger bedroom where it looked like most of the cases were piled.

“You won’t mind if I have a kip, do you?” Remus asked, looking more road-weary than before.

James clapped his shoulder. “Go on, mate. The curtains close to give you some privacy, and Sirius and I will probably bunk down in the back for a bit. Peter kips on the sofa more often than not, so you should have some quiet.”

“Thanks.” Remus looked round, but Sirius had already made his way to the very back, and he sighed. “I know this isn’t easy for any of you but…”

“I’m the one who put in the request,” James said. “Just…get to know him. He gets easier, and he’s a good bloke. I swear.”

Remus’ smile was small and careful, and he nodded. “I trust he is. Don’t much think Lily would care for him if he wasn’t. Just know I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks, Remus. Have a good sleep, yeah?” James took a step back, and headed for the bigger bedroom where Sirius had finally flopped over the larger bed. He was shirtless, lying on his front with his binder and jeans piled on the floor.

James eased himself onto the bed, drawing his hand up Sirius’ back to squeeze at the base of his neck lightly, and then lowered his head to hug him.

“Alright, love?”

Sirius grumbled. “I still can’t believe you found me a sodding babysitter.”

“It’s not…”

“Enough,” Sirius grumbled. “Stop arguing. It is what it is.”

“He seems like a good sort,” James said quietly as he shifted away a little bit.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but shifted closer to James and wrapped one arm round his waist. “Give us a cuddle, Prongs. I feel like shite.”

“I’d say you should learn your lesson from this about drinking, but we both know you won’t.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Sirius’ face. “Get some sleep, love. We’re going to be on the road a while.”

*** 

They reached their first venue in a handful of hours. Remus woke sometime after the bus came to a halt, and he could hear singing in the main area of the bus. Scrubbing at his face, his fingers still tingling a bit, he let out a small sigh and opened up the curtains. The bed itself could have been much worse, but his body was aching from having been on a plane, and then on a rolling bus.

He swung his legs over, and walked down the small hallway into the main lounge where he found Sirius at the fridge, hanging off the door and singing under his breath. His head snapped to the side when he saw Remus, and a scowl settled over his features.

It was rather adorable, if Remus was being honest. Of course he’d been thinking that since the moment he saw Sirius in that little restaurant, and was struggling to push those feelings aside. Not only were they grossly unprofessional, but Sirius was a celebrity. A big one. Someone who wouldn’t even begin to consider someone like Remus Lupin.

“Did I over-sleep?”

Sirius huffed, reaching in to grab a bottle of fizzy water, and he shut the fridge, leaning one hip against it and managing to look more elegant than Remus ever would in his life. “If you’re asking if I’ve snuck off to do something scandalous and horrid whilst you were having a kip, the answer is no.”

Remus flushed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it isn’t. I know what the Potters are like. Mother hens, the lot of them. Never know when to let a bloke just live.”

“Live. Hmm.” Remus stepped back to lean against one of the cabinets, his legs feeling suspiciously weak and he was cursing his body for betraying him on his first night. “Is that what you call the twitter incident with Kellie?”

“Oh god, is anyone going to let that go?” Sirius moaned. “You know I wasn’t even interested in her. We met, got pissed, she took advantage of the fact that everyone seems to be interested in what I do with my body…and look what it did for her. Have you seen her sales?”

“Haven’t,” Remus said carefully. The idea that another celebrity might use Sirius that way was slightly disturbing.

“Better than she’s done since her album dropped. And now everyone wants to know if she knows what’s up my skirt.”

Remus’ lips thinned into a hard line. “That’s…”

“What you’re going to be dealing with,” Sirius cut in. “Constantly. You know I’m trans, right?”

“Er. Yes,” Remus said slowly. “But I don’t…”

“Well you’re about to get a hard, fast education on what it’s like to represent a trans celebrity. And it’s not easy.”

Remus levelled a hard stare at him. “Is this how it starts?”

Blinking, Sirius frowned. “Is this how what starts?”

“You. Trying to put me off so I leave?”

Sirius barked a laugh, then cracked the top of his water and took a long drink. “You’ve no idea what you’re in for, is all I’m saying.”

“Why? Because I might get difficult questions?” When Sirius merely stared at him, Remus deflated a little, leaning harder against the cabinet in an attempt to take some of the pressure off his tingling, half-numb toes. “Sirius, I know we weren’t friendly at school so I’m not sure what you went through there. I know Snape was a shit, because he was to me as well. And I’m not trans so I _don’t_ understand what you’re going through. But I understand propriety an I understand that most people are complete rubbish and I’m not afraid of handling difficult questions. I’m not here to tell your story for you. I’m here to make sure that when you get drunkenly snogged by some up and coming artist discovered off YouTube, she won’t be spreading rumours about things that aren’t the public’s business. Because I was under the impression you _were_ getting tired of those questions.”

That threw him. It was obvious. Sirius stared, his grey eyes narrow, jaw clenched. It was clear he wanted to be furious with Lupin, but his mouth sat useless and silent. He was clenching the glass bottle so hard his knuckles had gone white, and then he took a step away.

“We have rehearsal and sound check. Better come along, Lupin. And make sure I don’t get up to anything untoward and make your job more difficult.” With that, he spun on his heel, his motorbike boots clomping out the door.

The bus doors slammed, and Remus sagged a little. He took a moment to sit on the sofa, to will feeling back into his feet, and say a little prayer that Sirius wouldn’t remain difficult for long. He was up to the challenge, but he wasn’t sure that Sirius would let him be.

*** 

The first show went well. Remus had never seen the band perform live, and it was definitely something amazing to behold. They had a sold-out venue with thousands of people, a meet-and-greet with VIP tickets before the show with some contest winners whilst the opening band played.

Remus noticed that Sirius had a stage personality, something very different from the dark, sullen, brooding man he was on the bus and between sets. He was vibrant, lively, his eyes glowing with excitement and he genuinely seemed like he wanted to please the fans.

He was handsy and silly with the photos, agreeing to more selfies than anyone else would have, sending random tweets to fans, and asking people their names as he was walking by, signing random autographs. 

In short, Remus saw the person Sirius wanted to be all the time, and couldn’t. 

The band avoided interviews at all costs that weren’t pre-scheduled, and it was at their second venue in Florida that Remus learnt why.

A reporter had managed to sneak into the meet-and-greet, and cornered Sirius. Remus had missed it entirely, trying to deal with the small crowd, and caught sight of a flustered Sirius who was on his own, and gone red in the face. Remus had a profound moment then. If Sirius was unprepared, that’s when disaster struck.

He moved as quick as his legs would allow, sliding up to Sirius and smiling at the woman who was mid-sentence. “…to all the youth who might be considering transitioning. Would you go so far as to call it a trend?”

Sirius’ eyes were wider than Remus had seen them go, and his mouth was set firm in a frown. “I’m not entirely sure what to address first,” Sirius said, moving a fraction close to Remus. “Whether it should be to remind you along with your readers and anyone else who might be within earshot that it’s no one’s business how a person chooses to transition. That surgery or no surgery, HRT or no HRT, binding or not, packing or not—you are a trans person if you are a trans person. Or,” Sirius said, lowering his voice and leaning forward just a bit, “whether I should address the insult you’ve levelled at every trans person out there by implying that this would be a trend.”

The reporter was flustered, and Remus fought off the urge to grin wildly in her face. Instead he put his hand on the back of Sirius’ neck in what he hoped was comforting, and pulled just a little. “I’m sorry, but Mr Black is expected for sound check. As I’m sure you would be aware. Also I am fairly certain you’ve no passes to be back there because I personally approved the press list and I don’t recall your name on it.” Remus waved to security, and her face paled.

Still with his arm round Sirius, Remus pulled him to a quiet corner where a small table was sat, laden with water, and a massive, insulated carafe of tea. Remus poured out a small paper cup of tea, handing it over, and winced as Sirius took down the whole thing, bitter and black.

“Alright, Sirius?” Remus asked softly.

He turned grey eyes on the other man and let out a slow breath. “Been better.”

“You okay to go on? I need to…handle her before she’s thrown out, but I can stay if you need me.”

Sirius looked at him, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. I’m fine. James is just there.” He nodded his head across the room where James was going over the track list with Peter. He started away, but then turned and grabbed Remus’ hand, giving it a squeeze. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t do much of anything,” Remus said.

“But you did.” Sirius didn’t explain himself further, but let Remus go slowly, his fingertips dragging across Remus’ palm making the taller man _want_ which was so bad, but so good.

When Sirius had finally reached James, glancing back at Remus once more for good measure, Remus hurried off to take his frustrations and fury out on making sure nothing about what was said that night could be printed again.

*** 

In the bus, Remus’ curtains were thrown back and his bed was suddenly occupied with a pyjama-clad Sirius. He had just been dozing off when the smaller man clambered up next to him, waving a tablet in Remus’ face. “Have you seen this?”

Remus squinted at the screen, but it was moving back and forth too much to make sense of it. Remus reached out, curling his hand round Sirius’ wrist and steadied him. “What is it?”

“That bitch in Florida got sacked,” Sirius said, his voice full of glee. He turned, propping his head up on his hand and grinned at Remus. “For insensitivity is what they’re calling it. Did you do it?”

“Well…I might have mentioned to her publication the sort of questions. And the unethical act of sneaking in backstage where she hadn’t been approved,” Remus said with a shrug. “Which is actually my job.”

Sirius laughed quietly, setting the tablet down and letting his hand rest on the centre of Remus’ chest. Distracting himself from the feeling of Sirius touching him—because he’d been trying so damned hard to tuck his growing affection for the singer behind his ribs where he didn’t have to feel it so keenly all the time—he put his arms behind his head and shifted away. Just a little. Not nearly enough to knock Sirius’ hand away.

“Better than our last one did. Then again, he was gone after my first pub brawl. Course that was in Dublin and you know those get mad.”

Remus laughed, shaking his head. “I’m not easily intimidated. And I actually did come here to do a job.”

Sirius hummed, then walked his fingers up Remus’ chest, past his shoulder, and tugged on a stray curl. “Your accent’s funny.”

Remus quirked a brow, and tried not to let it sound like his breath was hitching. “Is it?”

“Is that because you’re Welsh and Israeli?”

Remus laughed again. “Bit weird combination, isn’t it? But I reckon so. Didn’t speak much English at home. Or in school. Not til Hogwarts, and honestly I was so afraid I wasn’t going to be able to speak right, I just never said anything.”

“S’why you were so quiet,” Sirius said, very softly. “I remember you a bit more now. You weren’t half bad.”

“Thanks,” Remus said dryly, profoundly aware Sirius was still toying with one of his curls. “I remember you too, you know.”

“Yeah?” Sirius grinned wickedly at him.

“You and James were mad. Your pranks were funny though. And I was jealous of your hair.” Boldly, Remus untucked one of his arms to brush his fingers over Sirius’ fringe.

“Are you mad? Jealous of my hair. Your hair is brilliant!” Sirius’ fingers dug all the way in, ruffling them up, pulling them away from his ear. When he froze and pushed Remus’ ear forward. “Holy shit is that a moon tattoo?”

Remus’ entire face exploded into white-hot heat. “Er. Yes?”

Sirius rubbed his thumb over it. “Why? Remus…why do you have a moon tattoo behind your ear?”

“Well…” He huffed and shook his head. “It’s stupid.”

“I’ll be the judge of that and believe me I can tell when something’s stupid.”

Remus couldn’t bring himself to look at Sirius as he confessed. “It’s for my mam. After she died I was…well. Sad. And I always thought she was fucking mad for her obsession with wolves and with the whole Remus and Romulus thing. I was a twin, but the other one died really early on in the pregnancy and she thought it would be very clever to name me after the brother who died. I still don’t understand her logic. But she always decorated my room with moons. So…” He trailed off, shaking his head. 

Sirius hummed, rubbing his thumb over it again. “Moony.”

Remus blinked. “Sorry?”

“Well you said you weren’t cool enough to be one of us. But that’s a lie. You’re obviously one of the Marauders now, even if you’re not on the stage. So you get a name. And it’s Moony.”

“Oh my god,” Remus groaned.

Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved his nose into Remus’ cheek. “Shut up. Your mam would love it.”

That startled Remus for only a second, and then he gave in to his urge and nuzzled Sirius right back. “Yeah, she would. She’d have thought you were a bit mad, too. But I think she’d have liked you.”

“Do you like me, Moony?”

“I hardly lie in bunks with people I don’t like.”

“Well I did crawl in on you,” Sirius pointed out.

Remus laughed. “Yes. But I could very easily have shoved you off.”

Licking his lips, Sirius pulled back just a little and rested his head on Remus’ pillow. “Is that why you left Hogwarts? Your mam died?”

Remus let out a shaking breath, then nodded. So many years had passed but it never got really easier to talk about. “Abba—my dad, I mean—had a hard time with it. He still had a home there in Tel Aviv, and he wanted to get away from everything that reminded him of her. He didn’t too much longer. Died in my first year of Uni. Alice talked me into coming back.”

“Are you glad you did?” Sirius asked, then quickly added, “I am. Otherwise I’d have not seen you again.”

“Mm, and what a crime that would have been. Not to have some stodgy Moony looking over your shoulder to make sure you’re behaving.”

“Maybe,” Sirius said very softly, “you make me want to behave.”

Remus entire brain was screaming that he could not give in. This was unprofessional. He had no idea what Sirius was like on the road. Who he fancied, how many people he did. How often this happened. And yet he felt his entire body humming with a want he hadn’t felt in years.

“Do I?”

Sirius laughed very softly—oh right up against his ear. His soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, then he was pulling away. “Maybe a little bit. But just a little, mind.” Sitting up, he looked down at Remus and carefully touched the side of his nose, drawing his fingers down around his mouth. “We’ll be in Texas soon. I’ve heard terrifying things, you know. I hope it’s not a stadium full of mad Americans with their guns.”

Remus let out a shaky laugh as Sirius slid from the bed. Turning on his side, he watched the singer back up a little. “I think they screen for those things. So I wouldn’t worry. But I’ll double check, of course.”

“You’re a dream, Moony,” Sirius said, and then he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

“I know what you’re doing. And I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” James spoke as he closed the partition between the rest of the bus and the small bedroom. They were in the middle of Nowhere New Mexico and the driver fancied a kip, and Peter, Regulus, and Remus had their eye on some barmy little highway diner like you’d see on an episode of Supernatural. In fact James was convinced pair were hoping someone would go missing and a black Impala would pull up.

They’d been on the road now two months, playing venue after venue on the east coast, and as the weeks went by, Remus was making himself home in their little family. James wasn’t upset about it, but he had his eye on Sirius for several reasons.

The main one was Remus was a hired agent, and it could lead to conflict. And Sirius often made rash decisions which led to not only other people, but himself getting hurt. Which would not be good if they were stuck with Remus in their bus and another four months in front of them.

Sirius, however, knew what James was thinking and gave him a withering glower. “I haven’t pulled him, if that’s what you’re on about.”

Sighing, James flopped down on the bed and put one arm over his eyes, the other blindly seeking Sirius, eventually finding it. “I know why you fancy him.”

“Who said I did?”

“Late night cuddle fests in his bunk says you do,” James pointed out.

Sirius scoffed, but didn’t bother denying it. “We haven’t done anything. I’m being all professional and shit, so you can’t add this to your list, Potter.”

Dropping his arm from his eyes, James turned toward Sirius, cupping his cheek. “You are my most favourite person in the whole world, Sirius. And I want nothing more than to see you actually happy. Proper happy, and I know this…life…whatever it we got ourselves into, doesn’t really lend itself to that. And I like Moony,” he stopped to ponder how the name had caught on so quickly, “and at least he sort of gets it. But he won’t be able to be with you all the time.”

Sirius’ eyes fluttered closed and he sighed. “Look, I don’t even think he’s interested in me like that. I mean, we chat, yes. And he flirts and it keeps me occupied. It’s probably just one of his psych techniques he’s using to keep me from snogging some stupid fuck in a pub and having it blow up on twitter the next day.”

James licked his lips. “I don’t think that’s what it is.”

“He doesn’t even really talk to me. Not…not really,” Sirius carried on, his voice low and almost hurt. “I’m not getting invested.”

“Yes you are,” James persisted. “You’re not as subtle as you think, Pads.”

Sirius gave him a glower entirely without venom. “You do realise though, I’m not a child. I’m not some fragile, incapable person who can’t handle their own life.”

James unconsciously rubbed his fingers over Sirius’ palm. “I know. It’s hard for me to separate you from the sixteen year old who showed up battered to hell on my doorstep though. Or those eight months where you nearly shattered apart.”

“Yes,” Sirius said, his voice a bit tense. “But the point of all that therapy mum and dad sent me to was to make sure I could move past that, Jamie. So you have to let me.”

James winced. “I’m being a twat, aren’t I?”

“A bit.” Sirius reached up, letting his fingers curl round James’ hair which was currently soft and without any product. “I appreciate you looking after my heart, though. But I don’t think Moony fancies me.”

“He does,” James said. “The way he looks at you when you’re not watching. I remember it well.”

“Oh no, I’ve got myself a Pining Potter?” Sirius whinged, burying his face in James’ chest.

“I resent that, you arsehole.”

Sirius laughed, looking up and batting his lashes at his friend. “He’s got a secret.”

James blinked. “Remus? What sort. He’s…he doesn’t seem the secretive type.”

“He’s just…he’s holding something back. I can tell.” Sirius pulled a face, then sighed. “He takes jabs. I saw him at it. He’s only done it twice, both times when he begged off poorly. I came back to the bus and he was in the toilet just retching his guts out.”

James frowned. “Jabs? You think he’s…he’s not trans, is he? Not testosterone jabs?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “I rather think after all this he’d have told me. No, I think it’s something else. Like he’s got…something. I dunno. You ever notice he’s rather clumsy. And sometimes he just stops what he’s doing and sits. And he gets so tired, unnaturally tired.”

James hummed. “Might be his business, though.”

“What if he’s dying?” Sirius asked very softly, and grabbed James, pulling him close. “I don’t want my love life to be a Nicholas Sparks novel, Prongs.”

James laughed, cupping Sirius’ face and pulling him up for a soft kiss. “I don’t think he’s dying. But why don’t I ask Lily. Or you could ask him, you know.”

Sirius licked his lips. “I could. But I probably won’t. I’m a bloody coward.”

“You? Sirius, you are the bravest man I have ever met. Don’t be daft.” He snuggled him for another minute before pulling away. “Anyway, I’m going to go check on that lot and see when we’re back on the road. You want me to get anything for you?”

“Thanks, but if I’m going to die, it’s not going to be off roadside food poisoning. Just close the door when you go, yeah? I’m shattered.”

James kissed his forehead one last time before shutting the partition and heading out. They were in the massive car park where at least twenty lorries were stationed, and James felt fairly secure that no one in the diner would recognise them for who they were.

He stepped in, spotting Peter, Regulus, and Remus finishing up their meal, and gave them a small grin as he slid in the booth next to Reg. “Lads.”

“You missed out on some good old traditional American fare,” Peter said, sipping out of a white, chipped coffee mug.

Regulus was scowling. “I ate something called hash browns, and no sexy Winchesters showed up to save and fuck me.”

“I hope you mean Dean,” Peter said. “Otherwise you’d die.”

“Being that I’ve no idea what the hell the pair of you are talking about, I’ve come to collect you.”

“Where’s my useless brother?” Regulus asked, swirling a bendy straw round an amber coloured drink.

“Your incredibly useful brother who is almost single-handedly responsible for your small fortune,” James corrected, “is having his kip. And we should as well. I think we’re going to try to make it to California by tomorrow.”

“Uhg fuck me,” Peter groaned. “How’d I get talked into this gig again?”

“Fame and fortune?” Remus offered.

Peter grinned. “Oh. Yeah. Well alright, then. Come on lads.”

“Oh, and leave a tip,” Remus said. “Cash. Erm. Americans depend on them.”

James frowned, but took out several notes from his pocket and slapped them on the table. Reg hurried off to the crew bus, and Peter was steps ahead as Remus made a slow trek to their own. James lagged behind, and when Remus glanced at him, he clapped his agent on the shoulder.

“Alright, Moony?”

“That’s really sticking, is it?” Remus asked.

“It’s fairly cute,” James offered as they shuffled across the pavement. “Really though, you alright?”

“I’ve had better days,” Remus said, then looked like he regretted it. “I guess I was unprepared for what travelling like this might do to my body.”

“You want to talk about it?”

Remus gave him a careful look, then shook his head. “It’s nothing, really. Just getting older I suppose.”

“Oh Moony. Twenty-seven going on seventy.” James gave him a sharp grin. But he wasn’t entirely convinced.

Later that night, once they were on the road, James saw Sirius climbing into Remus’ bed with the tablet, and he took the opportunity to slide into the very back of the bus and ring up Lily. Used to her husband phoning at all hours, she sounded tired, but pleased to hear from him when she picked up.

“Hallo love. How’s it going there?”

“I miss you,” James said softly. “So much.”

“I miss you too. But Harry and I are all packed and ready for LA. You’ve got a hotel sorted, don’t you?”

Flopping back on the bed, James grinned. “You don’t fancy sleeping on the bus? With Pete and Sirius and Remus?”

Lily scoffed, then said, “How’s he faring? I’ve seen very little of Sirius on twitter, so I guess he’s working out alright.”

James hesitated before answering. “They’re getting on.”

“Sirius fancies him, doesn’t he?” Lily was too sharp for her own good, and James sighed. 

“Nothing’s happened, so don’t worry that darling head of yours.”

“Oh I never do,” Lily said. “Believe me, I stopped worrying about what Sirius was going to do years ago. Just…make sure he’s careful, yeah?”

James turned over onto his belly and pressed his cheek against the pillow in hopes of somewhat muffling his voice. He didn’t want to get caught snooping in Remus’ business, but his curiosity was too much to bear. “He ill, Lily? Remus?”

There was a pause long enough for James to know there was something. “He asked me not to talk about it unless it affected his work performance. Has it?”

“No,” James said slowly. “Is it something he could give to Sirius, though?”

“I think Remus would be decent enough to divulge any information like that before sleeping with someone,” Lily said, her tone sharp. 

“That didn’t answer my question, darling.”

Lily sighed. “No, it’s not. It’s serious but not in a way that would affect anything he does…might do, with Sirius.” Lily paused again. “Is Remus interested?”

“I think so,” James said. “I think he’s holding out because of his job. Or the illness. I don’t know. But I think they could make each other happy.”

“I’d like to see Sirius happy for once,” Lily said very softly. 

“Me too.” James rubbed his face, then rolled over once more. “I’ll make sure Sirius sets aside a day for Haz, so you and I can shag on every surface of the very posh hotel room I plan to find for us.”

Lily laughed. “I can’t wait. At this rate I’m going to need a few new toys if I’m being kept from you for months.”

James’ cheeks went hot at that thought, and he shook his head. “Well, your birthday’s coming up. Or your unbirthday. Or this special day called spoil Lily rotten with things she needs to comfort herself whilst her loving and attentive, fit, attractive, very rich and famous…”

“Get to the point, Potter.”

James laughed. “Fuck, I can’t wait to see you. Tell Harry I’ll be there at the airport.”

“You think that’s a good idea?” Lily sighed. “Photographers and everything?”

“It’s LA, love. Heaps of celebrities are there all the time. And so what if they get a couple shots of me hugging my wife and kid. It’s not reason enough to be the first thing you see when you step off the plane.”

“You are an arrogant toerag, Potter,” she said fondly. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you, babe.”

“I love you too.”

They rang off, and James shoved his mobile under the pillow, letting his eyes drift closed. He loved his job, he did. The fame he could do without, but music was in his bones, it ran in his blood. It was his and Sirius’ and he didn’t regret it. But there were days when he wondered if he could just retire to his little cottage with Lily and Harry and be satisfied.

He wondered, as he heard the gentle laughs of Sirius and Remus from their bed, if maybe Sirius found something like he had, that sort of love, he’d feel the same way too.

*** 

Remus let out a huge groan the second he stepped into the hotel room. The Marauders booked an entire top floor penthouse for the band and the floor below for the crew. Remus attempted to slip down, but Sirius insisted he was part of the family now, and bodily shoved him toward one of the bedrooms.

“All yours, Moonbeam,” Sirius said with a grin before turning away.

The Marauders had three shows in Southern California over the next five days, which meant they could have a small home-base at the hotel for the week. After which they would be headed north, the back east for the final leg of their tour.

At the present time, James had gone to LAX to pick up Lily and Harry, Peter was with Regulus sorting out some contract issues with one of the venues, leaving Sirius and Remus to the room for the next two hours.

Just before Remus moved to collapse on the bed, his aching legs begging for a break from the cramped bus, he heard Sirius calling for him.

“Before you give in to the luxury of tempurpedic mattresses, you mind giving me a hand with something?”

Remus poked his head out, and saw through the door opposite his, Sirius stood near the bed clad in a too-big jumper which hung almost to his knees, and bright purple calf-high socks. He was digging into one of his cases, and then waved Remus into the large bathroom. 

“How do you feel about needles?”

One of Remus’ eyebrows shot up. The truth was, he knew Sirius had seen him giving himself a jab weeks before, and Sirius had walked in on him the few hours after the side-effects had had him emptying his stomach into the toilet. He hadn’t explained, and Sirius hadn’t asked, but he knew the musician was curious.

Remus was tempted to just tell him. He and Sirius had been getting closer and closer, and Sirius had all-but stopped acting out. He still went out to pubs after shows, still tweeted celebrities, still was rude with interviewers who had no boundaries with their questions, but the scandals had all-but stopped.

And though Remus didn’t want to give himself hope, every night when Sirius would crawl into his little bunk and they’d watch old films and sit-coms on Sirius’ tablet, he allowed himself to believe there was more. So long as they weren’t crossing any lines.

He was feeling it, of course. His fancy he was trying to tuck away was clawing out from behind his ribs, all teeth and claws. Remus couldn’t seem to help it. Whenever he fell—and it wasn’t often—he fell hard. Dating was never easy, of course. Remus was ill too often to be a very attentive lover, and his job kept him busy. But perhaps Sirius understood that more than most.

Taking a breath, Remus smiled carefully. “I’m alright with them. Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m a massive piss-baby about my jabs and usually I make Jamie do it. But he’s out and if I don’t do it now, I’m going to forget. And you do not want to know what happens when I forget.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Turn into a werewolf?”

“Oh cute, Werewolf McWerewolf,” Sirius challenged, banging a small, black case onto the bathroom counter. “I could have a period, and no one wants that. Believe me, no one wants to suffer the wrath of Sirius Black on his period.”

“God forbid,” Remus said, a bare quirk of a smile. 

“I was not designed for such things,” Sirius said loftily, sticking his nose in the air.

Remus chuckled and closed the distance between them. “Well I’ll confess I know you saw me giving myself my own jab. So I think I can help out.”

Sirius momentarily looked guilty, then shrugged. “You’re a dream, Moons.” He sat down on the lid of the toilet and began to prepare the jab as Remus took an alcohol swab and pushed the hem of Sirius’ jumper up higher on his thigh. 

“Here?”

Sirius nodded as he filled the syringe and then pulled a face. “I hate this so much.”

“It’s not my favourite part of my monthly routine,” Remus said, offering nothing else at the moment. He washed his hands before taking the syringe and kneeling beside Sirius. With a gentle hand, he cupped the other man’s knee and squeezed. “Ready?”

Sirius grabbed onto his shoulders and squeezed his eyes. “Just do it fast. Like…don’t draw it out. It’s torture.”

“Alright.” Remus poised the needle above the skin.

“Oh my god oh my god ow ow ow oh god,” Sirius hissed as Remus jabbed the needle in, depressed the plunger, and pulled it out.

“Sorted,” Remus said with a small laugh in his voice.

Sirius made a show of swiping under his dry eyes, sniffing a little as he disposed of the needle. “Torture.”

“Yes, but keeps you from nearly bleeding to death once a month, doesn’t it?” Remus smiled up at him, and he saw a faint colour across Sirius’ sharp cheekbones. His stomach wobbled a little, and he took a breath. “You feel alright after?”

“Normally,” Sirius said as he dabbed at the single drop of blood with a tissue, pulling a face. “Not like you.”

“Mm, good. Although at least I’ve learnt a few tricks over the years.” Remus rose, feeling his legs tremble a little, and he sighed. “You want to ask me about it, Padfoot?”

Sirius perked up just a little at the sound of the nickname Remus almost never used for them. “Can I? I didn’t want to be like…intrusive.”

Remus held out a hand and eased Sirius up from the toilet. They walked back into the bedroom, but before Remus could make for the door, Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist and tugged him toward the bed. 

“Snuggles? We’ll have more room than on the bus.”

Remus swallowed thickly, then gave in. “Yeah, alright.”

Sirius let out a small, happy hum as he wrenched the duvet back, and the pair crawled in, their heads sinking into the overly fluffy hotel pillows. Sirius tucked them in tight, keeping a little space between them, but he reached down to touch Remus’ fingers, playing with them gently. “Alright, I’m curious. What’s got you jabbing yourself and then trying to get rid of your stomach through your mouth?”

Remus looked at him for some time, losing himself in the feel of Sirius’ long, thin fingers playing with his. “It’s MS.”

Sirius blinked, looking vaguely surprised. “MS?”

“Multiple-Sclerosis,” Remus clarified, and Sirius gave a small nod. “It’s…it’s not very advanced presently, and my treatments are doing a decent job of keeping it in check. I’ve some cognitive issues sometimes. I forget things a lot. Sometimes my hands won’t work.”

“Is that why you’re always dropping things?”

Remus laughed. “I was clumsy before this but…yes. Mostly. It was the symptom that brought me in to my GP.”

Sirius’ brow furrowed, and Remus hated how cute the other man looked. Mostly because he just really wanted to kiss him. Instead he focused on the feel of Sirius’ finger tracing the lines of his palm. “Will you die? From it?”

“Probably not,” Remus said softly. “I’ll probably end up in a wheelchair eventually. It could leave me blind. I might lose my ability to swallow. It’s…there’s a lot that will probably happen, but not for a while. Maybe not ever. It’s hard to say.”

Sirius swallowed, then nudged himself closer. “Remus…” He trailed off and sighed. “Thanks for telling me.”

Remus smiled and nodded. “I would have earlier. I was only worried you’d think it would mean I couldn’t do my job properly.”

Sirius looked affronted. “Did I seem like that much of a shite?”

Remus laughed hard, his head shaking. “Honestly, yes you did. You were a right little shit, Sirius.”

Sirius’ cheeks coloured a bit again, but he was grinning and nudging so close his chin was on Remus’ shoulder. “But I’m not anymore?”

“Oh, you’re still a right little shite. I’ve only grown accustomed to it.”

“You like it,” Sirius said in a sing-song tone.

“You keep telling yourself that,” Remus said in a low voice, but he let himself move even closer, and his eyes started sinking closed.

“I will. And I’ll keep reminding you until you admit it.” 

A soft kiss dropped against Remus’ shoulder, but he was so near sleep, he wasn’t sure it happened at all. He merely hummed in response, and with gentle fingers drawing lines along his wrist and palm, he allowed himself to drift off.

*** 

“Padfoot! Padfoot!”

Sirius was unceremoniously thrown to consciousness by the small body of a nine year old jumping on top of him. Harry seemed utterly unperturbed by the sight of another man in Sirius’ bed—which really was very much like the Potter mini—and he even reached over to prod Remus in the side until the agent’s eyes cracked open.

“Mum says you’re taking me out for the day!” Harry said, bouncing on Sirius once more.

Letting out a gruff breath, Sirius grabbed the boy and threw him in the middle of himself and Remus then tickled his sides until Harry screamed and threw himself on Remus. “Save me!”

Remus laughed, pulling Harry all the way over until he was lying down away from Sirius, and Sirius had half-draped himself over Remus’ back. 

“Good flight, Prongslet?” Sirius asked, poking at Harry but missing just barely.

Harry grinned. “No. It was dreadful and so long. Whyyyyy can’t you just come home?”

“Because your dad and I are busy being impressive and having the whole world love us.”

“My love is so much better than the whole world’s,” Harry said solemnly.

“He’s got you there, Sirius,” Remus said. “It’s good to see you again, Harry.”

Harry grinned. “Mum said you’re coming too, you know. On our day of fun and…and everything.” With that, Harry was scrambling from the bed and hurtling himself into the main room to jump on his dad for a while.

Sirius groaned. “Leave it to that kid to get hyper from jet lag instead of exhausted.”

“If only we could bottle it. We’d make a fortune,” Remus groaned, scrubbing at his face.

“I already have a fortune, and Lily said she’s paying you one to mind me,” Sirius said with a wink, swinging his legs over the bed and searching for a pair of his leggings. He found a floral print poking out of his messy case, and he wriggled into them as Remus eased himself from the bed. “You are coming with us today, right? I know James and Lily want to turn this place into their own, personal shag-pad, so I had Reg arrange some tickets to LegoLand.”

Remus shrugged. “Suppose I could. If you don’t mind the company.”

“Only if you don’t mind people noticing,” Sirius said. “We might get shipped.”

Remus quirked a brow. “Is that one of those internet terms I pretend like I understand but don’t?”

“Fraid so. There will be rumours abound. But I guess it’s your job to dispel them.” Sirius winked at him before padding into the main lounge where he rushed over, pulling Lily in for a fierce hug. He kissed both her cheeks before shoving her at James who was holding Harry against his side. “How are you, Ginger Blossom?”

Lily smiled, looking exhausted. “I’ve been better. Glad to be on the ground.”

“I bet.” Sirius looked at Harry who was squirming a little, and he sighed. “Come on. Uncle Reg has got us LegoLand tickets. We’ll let your dad get up to disgusting grown-up business and we’ll go have our own fun.”

“Yes!” Harry jumped on his dad again, kissing his cheek before rushing off to find his shoes.

James rolled his eyes, but looked more pleased than Sirius had seen him during the trip so far. “You sure you’ll be alright?”

“Are you kidding? I’m dragging Moony and Reg with me. It’s going to be brilliant.”

James reached a hand out, and dragged Sirius onto his lap, giving him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “Have a good time. I think Haz was more excited to see you than he was me so…”

“Because I am infinitely cooler.” Sirius gave James’ cheek a pat, then leant backward to kiss Lily before easing himself up. Beckoning Remus along, he wound his arm round Remus’ waist and then the pair headed down for the lobby.

Reg was there, on his mobile looking furious as he barked at the person on the line, but Sirius ignored him as they headed for the car waiting for them. Harry was still bouncing, tugging on Sirius’ hand before throwing open the car door and clambering inside.

“Look! The car’s all on the wrong side!”

Remus laughed as Harry buckled himself in, pressing his face to the window. “They also drive on the other side of the road.”

Harry turned big, green eyes on Remus. “Wicked.”

Reg climbed into the car next, sat next to Harry, leaving Remus and Sirius seats next to each other, and before long they were on the road. 

“Remember when you could be entertained by scenery passing by?” Remus mused quietly as the massive car pulled away from the main streets, onto the motorway.

Sirius was looking at him, a feeling of want and desire twisting into his gut. He fancied Remus more and more as the minutes ticked by. He’d had the most comfortable sleep in his entire life wrapped up with Remus, and as happy as he was to see Harry, part of him wished he could be back in that bed, Remus’ hand in his, just being together.

Remus wasn’t very forthcoming about his feelings, and Sirius had never been very good at reading people. But he swore James was right about the _looks_ Remus gave him. And he’d talked about his condition. MS. Sirius knew about it, vaguely. Remus’ description was mildly terrifying—he couldn’t imagine living with something like that hanging over his head.

But knowing what Remus was living with, and the struggle he went through daily, only made Sirius respect him more. Knowing he was on the road, in a cramped bus, walking constantly, doing everything in his power to protect his and the rest of the band’s reputation against the shite media? If he was able, he would have leant over and kissed Remus silly right then.

And oh how he thought about it. His insides squirmed more at the thought.

“Alright, we’ve got tickets waiting, and you can get in through the side gate,” Regulus said. 

“You’re not coming?” Sirius asked, his eyes wide.

Harry turned toward the Younger. “Come on, Uncle Reg. They have rides!” He nudged Regulus in the side, and the stoic manager gave the boy a smile more fond than he ever gave anyone.

“I think I’ll pass today,” Reg said softly. “But I don’t think you three will miss me much.”

“I will,” Harry said solemnly. “But I’ll bring you back something really really cool.”

Regulus’ smile was even softer. “Thanks, kiddo. You have a good time, yeah?”

Sirius leant forward. “Afraid of having a good time, dear brother?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, and glanced at Remus. “Don’t much fancy being a third-wheel. And I’ve never enjoyed places like this.”

“Too common?” Sirius asked with a wicked smirk. “You are our mother’s son. But suit yourself, baby bro. We’ll see you in a few hours.”

The car pulled up, and an employee was already waiting with their passes, and an escort through the gates. Remus was looking round with wide eyes, then glanced at Sirius as they made their way into the crowd. There were a few whispers, and the words Sirius Black floated on a few lips from people they passed by.

Sirius went a bit rigid, annoyed because honestly he couldn’t go anywhere, but he decided to just let the crowd have their fun. Take their photos, make their tweets. He clung hard to Harry’s hand on one side, and Remus’ on the other.

“What’s first kid?”

Harry was staring round in wonder, then he grinned up at both men. “I want to do _everything_.”

*** 

At the end of the day, Remus was absolutely shattered. Harry dragged them from one end of the park to the other. The perks of being with a superstar meant they were allowed to cut first into the queue, and though Remus felt bad about it, his legs thanked the lack of waiting.

People recognised Sirius at every turn, the braver ones asking for autographs and selfies, and Sirius obliging with his stage-smile.

Harry was oblivious to the attention his godfather was getting, mostly because his eyes were glued to every ride, and every person they passed by dressed like lego men and women. He was distracted by all the shops, and by all the souvenirs he wanted to buy for all his friend and family.

By the time they were done, Harry had several plastic sacks full of Lego paraphernalia, they were full on amusement park food—most of which had not been very vegan friendly, but Remus made do without complaint—and finally, _finally_ Harry was knackered.

The car was waiting for them, sans Regulus who had sent a text saying he’d see them in the morning for breakfast, and as they got Harry into the car, the boy stayed upright for about nine seconds before his eyes drooped and he passed right out. Remus chuckled a little at the sight, but his breath caught when a warm hand grabbed his, gently twinning round his fingers.

“You want me to stop this?” Sirius asked.

Remus swallowed, then shook his head. “I’m…it’s…fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.” Sirius attempted to pull his hand away, but Remus caught him and yanked him back hard.

“Really. It is.”

Sirius grinned, leaning his head back along the seat, and smiled at Remus. “Good day?”

“Interesting. I don’t think I’d ever actively choose to go on half those rides but…I think Harry had a good time.”

Sirius grinned fondly at the sleeping boy. “Seemed to. And you handled the whole public attention well enough.”

Remus laughed. “Mostly because they weren’t bothering me about selfies.”

Shifting closer, Sirius dug round for his mobile, and opened up the web. “Wanna see if we made social media trend?”

Sirius had, of course. SiriusBlackLegoLand was trending on twitter, and there were several tumblr posts with grainy mobile photos of him, Remus, and Harry heading for rides, buying lego, and one of them trying to enjoy their lunch.

There were several selfies Sirius had agreed to, and then one in particular which had seemed to have gone particularly viral.

They’d been waiting for Harry on the go-kart ride by the fence. Sirius had wound his arm round Remus’ waist and Remus had leant over, resting his head on the top of Sirius’. It was a quiet photo, serene, and even Remus had to admit how domestic it looked.

It had been captioned over and over, “I don’t know who that is, but omg I ship it.”

Along with that came several theories about who Remus was, what they were doing, how long they’d been dating. A few about them having been secretly married for years, and a few saying the relationship was a cover for Sirius’ long-standing affair with James Potter for which Lily was serving as a beard.

“Christ,” Remus said after reading the last description. “How did I not stumble upon that one before?”

Sirius raised a brow. “What, me and Jamie? Oh Moons, you have no idea what these people are capable of coming up with. I reckon it doesn’t help Jamie and I are always kissing, but apparently the concept of platonic affection is beyond them.”

“Maybe they just want to see you happy,” Remus offered.

Sirius huffed, then thumbed through his own photos, uploading a few with some fans he had enjoyed, tagging them on his twitter. Lastly he came to one of him, Remus, and Harry, their cheeks all smooshed together. They looked happy. So happy it made Remus’ insides squirm a bit.

“I know you’re supposed to stop me from creating a scandal, but does it count if you’re part of it?” Sirius asked. He flashed Remus the photo.

With a sigh, Remus waved his free hand at Sirius. “Oh, go on then. It’s not any worse than what’s been on there today.”

Sirius opened up his Instagram app, then uploaded the two selfies he’d taken—one with the three of them, and one with just him and Remus. He tagged the latter, ‘My most favourite Moony.’ Remus reckoned, at least for the moment, and professionally, it was better than his real name.

Ten minutes later, as they were pulling up to the hotel, Sirius was cackling. “At least forty people thinks we should get married.”

Remus flushed a little, oddly okay with the idea and he was almost disturbed by his lack of worry over it. “Yes well…I’ll need a fancy proposal first, you know. And you’ll have to work hard at wooing me. I don’t come cheap.”

“But do you come easy?” Sirius asked, waggling his brows.

Remus flushed. “I am so glad Harry was asleep for that one,” he muttered.

Sirius giggled as he climbed out of the car, carefully reaching for Harry and tucking the boy against his shoulder. The three of them headed into the lobby, taking the private lift to the penthouse where they found James curled up with a sleeping Lily.

He immediately wriggled out of her arm, rushing up to relieve Sirius of the small boy. “Alright time? I saw your posts.”

“Well, we reckoned it was pointless trying not to be scandalous since so many people spotted us at the park,” Sirius said, massaging his shoulder a little.

Remus huffed, but couldn’t help a small smile. “Yes well. It was a good time, and Harry was incredibly well behaved.”

“And you two?” James asked, though he was smiling.

“Very best behaviour. Right, Moons?”

Remus flushed. “Of course.”

James smiled, shaking his head. “Alright well, off to bed with you. Early day tomorrow.”

Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, but flounced over to the room he’d claimed, and Remus turned slowly, making his way back to his. He closed the door, shucking everything but his boxers, and let out the smallest groan as he climbed into the very still, very comfortable bed.

His eyes were just starting to close when there was a tiny knock on the door, and he lifted his head from the pillow. “Yeah?”

The door cracked, and a body slipped in. Remus could see the glow of a tablet in Sirius’ hand, and he smiled against his hand as he shifted over. Sirius didn’t say anything as he propped the tablet up on the nightstand and crawled beneath Remus’ covers.

Remus shuffled over after a minute, letting his arm come round Sirius’ waist. There was a film playing, but the sound was off, and Sirius’ breathing evened out almost immediately after Remus held him tight. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this, if maybe Sirius was being clingy because they were on the road together—he knew things like this were bound to happen at some point.

But he’d enjoy whatever it was whilst it lasted.

*** 

Sirius woke as the sun filtered in through Remus’ window, and he felt a heavy pressure across his chest and midsection. One eye poked open to see a thatch of messy curls pillowed on his chest, one arm tucked securely round his waist, and he couldn’t help his smile.

It was ridiculous how hard he was falling for this man. Sirius’ relationships were few and far between, and he’d not bothered with anything serious since their band had taken off. He never trusted anyone. He had no way to tell if the people interested in him were after him for fame, for money, to further their career. He knew a lot of them just wanted to bed the cute trans guy so they’d have something to talk about when they sold their story to some chat show months after a public break-up.

But with Remus it was different. Yes, he’d been hired to come help sort out Sirius’ scandals—and really he still wasn’t overly pleased James had hired him a babysitter—but he was not like the others. He didn’t seem to really care about the fame one way or the other. And he had known both Sirius and James back at school.

He never looked at Sirius like he was a gimmick, or a token representation of his gender. He looked at Sirius like Sirius was the same boy who sat in Binn’s unendingly boring history lectures and threw wads of paper until the professor noticed. Sirius held the record for the most wads of paper, once managing to pelt Binns upside the head for an entire lecture without the old man blinking or pausing once.

Sirius craved what James and Lily had. Someone who knew him long before all _this_. Who was willing to stand by him whilst he stood up for himself, not someone who was going to speak for him. He craved someone who understood him on a level which was intimate, but surpassed all the sexual bullshit that came with objectifying a celebrity. Someone who might enjoy the fruits of Sirius’ labour and money—really who didn’t enjoy lavish holidays abroad—but who would also be content to shack up in a two bedroom flat in Hampstead and eat out of chippys and curry shops every other night.

He didn’t know for sure if Remus was that sort, but he seemed like it. And he wanted to believe.

God did he want to believe.

The very fact Remus had been enjoying cuddles with him nearly every night—had agreed to sleep with him now twice in the hotel room and had not once attempted to make a move on him—spoke volumes. And maybe Remus was just a very patient man, but Sirius wanted to believe more.

Because he wanted more.

Shifting, Sirius wriggled his arm round Remus so he could pull him tighter, and the curly haired man grumbled, his voice morning-thick and heavy. “Time’s it?”

Sirius shrugged a little. “No idea.” His voice was still sleep rough and deep, and he felt Remus smiling against him.

After a moment, Remus’ head popped up and he was flushed, glancing down at Sirius’ unbound chest. “God, I’m sorry. Was I hurting you?”

Sirius frowned. “No. I was comfy though so if you don’t mind…”

“Long as you don’t,” Remus said, and attempted to carefully avoid Sirius’ breasts until Sirius tugged him down.

“Doesn’t bother me, you git. Comfy and warm.”

Remus let out a small chuckle and gave up the protest, nuzzling back down into Sirius and hitching him close. Remus was usually more reserved, but the sleepy morning lowered his inhibitions a little, Sirius realised, and he was happy to take advantage of that for proper cuddles.

“It’s not bothering you, is it?” Sirius asked after a moment, realising Remus’ reaction might have been one of his own discomfort. Sirius knew that for all he was proud of himself, and all he would fight to be recognised for his own gender, it did bother some gay men. Remus didn’t seem like the sort, but he wasn’t ever going to make assumptions.

Remus, however, just gave another sleepy laugh. “Does what bother me? The most comfortable morning cuddles I have ever had? That would be no, Pads.”

Sirius felt something warm blooming in his chest at the sound of the familiar nickname, and he took a moment to curse how many years he could have had this, but wasted the opportunity by being an immature little tosser at school. He let his fingers drift up into Remus’ hair and he felt the curly ringlets curve themselves round his fingertips. 

“We have to get up soon. If we’re not, Harry’s going to come in her and bounce all over us.”

“Who needs an alarm clock with that,” Remus muttered, shifting so his face was pressed right up against Sirius’ neck, making him go flush all over.

Sirius pulled him in even tighter. “Remus?”

“Mm?”

“Can…I…” He took a breath, not used to being at a loss for proper words. “I mean do you… I mean…” He huffed again, and scowled when he felt a silent laugh shaking Remus’ shoulders. “D’you fancy me?”

Remus went stiff all over at that, and Sirius cursed himself for a moment, thinking he’d ruined things. Then Remus cleared his throat, not moving from where his face was all-but pressed against Sirius’ skin. “No point in avoiding the question when I’m wrapped up against you like this, is there?”

“Well, not as such, no,” Sirius said carefully, still twisting his fingers in Remus’ hair.

“Yeah, Sirius,” he said after a minute. “I do fancy you. I don’t exactly let eccentric men with bad social media habits crawl into my bed nearly every night and spoon me. Just so we’re clear this isn’t some routine of mine.”

Sirius chuckled lightly, and shifted just a little so his torso was more against Remus. “Well…good. Because I rather fancy you and I felt like for all the flirting we’ve been doing, one of us ought to say something.”

There was a pause, then Remus pulled back a little, concern evident in his amber eyes. “Sirius, we need to talk about this though. Because I’ve a job to do and you’re on tour. I don’t want…” He stopped and sighed. “It could get complicated.”

Sirius went immediately tense, his face falling. “Er. Right. I mean, I know it’s…”

Remus didn’t let him finish, reaching out a hand to cup his cheek. His thumb stroked along Sirius’ cheekbone gently, and he brought his face in close. “I’m not saying I don’t want it. Or that anything about you is putting me off. I’m only saying that we should be careful. You already get enough questions as it is. You don’t need me making your life more difficult.”

Sirius leant into Remus’ hand carefully, letting his eyes slip closed. “What if I don’t care? What if you’re what I want and I don’t care what anyone says or thinks?” He carefully looked up at Remus, his tone low and gentle. “If it’s too much though…because you know people will find out who you are and they won’t leave you alone so…”

Remus laughed very softly. “I don’t care what they ask me. I already work for a PR firm, I’m not afraid.”

Sirius’ smile was almost blinding, and he surged forward. “Can I…can we…kiss? Can I kiss you because sweet Hades and Persephone I have been aching to since…well since forever, maybe.”

“Even when I was the barmy, quiet kid at school?” Remus challenged, moving so close their noses were touching.

“Always had a love of swotty, quiet boys,” Sirius breathed. “Please Moony. Pretty please.”

Instead of answering, Remus put his other hand on Sirius’ face and pulled him close, closing the distance between them. Their lips met, soft and pliant, a needy noise escaping Sirius’ throat as he fisted one hand in the front of Remus’ shirt. It wasn’t totally chaste, but it was sweet and careful, and it made Sirius’ head spin. He’d wanted this for so long, he really had, and now he was desperate to keep it.

When they broke apart, Sirius couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Mm, damn Moony. You can snog me any time.”

Remus laughed, pressing his forehead against Sirius’. “We should get up, you know. You lot have got a radio interview and then rehearsal and sound check. Busy busy.”

“Sod literally everything in the world that isn’t snogging your face, Remus,” Sirius complained, not letting go.

Remus grinned. “Be that as it may, your fans await. Come on, and we’ll get some breakfast before you have to go put on your public face.”

Sirius groaned, but grabbed Remus round the back of the head and kissed him once more before pushing up off the bed. He swaggered toward the door, his hips shaking a little from side to side, and he threw it open. Lily, James, and Harry were there at the low table near the sofa having some breakfast, and none looked surprised to see him emerge from Remus’ room.

“I snogged Moony,” Sirius declared to the room.

“Gross!” Harry cried. “Snogging is so gross!”

Sirius walked over, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Not everyone thinks so. I certainly don’t. Don’t think your mum and dad do, either.”

“Sirius,” James groaned, laughing a little when Sirius threw himself on James’ lap and helped himself to a croissant. “You’d better eat that quickly. We’re due to leave soon.”

“Bugger leaving,” Sirius muttered, stuffing half the croissant into his mouth. “Is Reg coming?”

“No. He’s still trying to sort out the venue in San Diego. Apparently they oversold tickets and they’re trying to negotiate a second showing at half our cost.”

“Bugger _that_ ,” Sirius groused. “If we’re doing a second show we charge double. Especially if it was their mistake. It’ll put us off our schedule.”

“It’ll mean we’ll have to fly out to Portland,” James said with a nod. He looked up when Remus came out of the room looking a big snogged, but put together in his trousers and shirtsleeves. “He’s handling it though, and he’ll let us know. It means Remus has to come with us to the radio station though, as unofficial manager.”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up. “Is that so?”

“Nothing difficult,” Lily promised, sipping on her coffee primly. “You’d be doing the same stuff anyway. Just go over the questions before the boys go on air. Make sure they’re not going to spring anything on them. The usual.”

Remus looked at Sirius with a small, secret grin, then nodded. “Alright, no worries. Sirius, you should go and start getting ready though. And where’s Pete?”

“With Reg,” James said, shoving Sirius from his lap. “I’ve already taken the liberty of phoning in and letting them know it’ll just be me and Sirius today. Peter’s better with negotiations than I am so with any luck, this whole thing will be sorted by this afternoon.”

Sirius grumbled under his breath, hating to be on a tight schedule when he could be crawling back into bed with Moony and getting down to other, much more fun things. But he was nothing if not professional. When he had to be. It didn’t stop him from dragging his hand across Remus’ stomach and kissing him lightly before heading for the shower though, and it certainly didn’t stop his massive grin when he got out and Remus was sat on his bed.

Sirius was only in a towel, feeling suddenly self-conscious as Remus hadn’t seen him naked yet. He had a towel wrapped high over his chest, and he flushed a little.

“I should…I’m sorry, I’ll go,” Remus said in a rush, but as he got up, Sirius caught his wrist.

“No I don’t mind. I mean, we don’t have time for a shag but…so long as you don’t…as long as I don’t…”

Remus was on his feet again, putting his hand against Sirius’ cheek. “I think every inch of you is gorgeous, Sirius. I swear.”

Sirius smiled, and felt the absolute sincerity in Remus’ voice. He had never really been self-conscious with people. He was fairly sure James had seen him naked more than he’d seen his own body naked. But he didn’t share readily with most people.

Yet, there was something about Remus which put him at such ease that when he dropped the towel, he wasn’t as afraid as he thought he’d be. And he certainly didn’t miss the way Remus’ eyes darkened a few shades, and he unconsciously licked his lips.

As Sirius grinned and slipped his binder over his head. He adjusted it before slipping into shining black leggings and off-the-shoulder white top. As he stood with his back to Remus, pulling a pair of socks from his case, he felt heavy fingers at his waist, turning him gently, and there was a mouth pressing a hot kiss under his earlobe.

“You are gorgeous.” Remus kissed him there again. “I just thought it was necessary I tell you.”

Sirius closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, nuzzling Remus’ cheek with his nose. “And you are fucking lovely and I can’t wait to get you all to myself.”

Remus dragged himself away as Sirius sat on the bed to get his socks and boots sorted. That done, he dragged his fingers through his hair, wrapping it into a messy bun, and twisted a bobble round it. His fringe fell in his eyes, still a bit wet, but he wasn’t too fussed about it as he’d be stripped bare and made-up before he was on stage anyway.

“I dunno how you manage to look like you’re ready to do a magazine cover just by stepping out of the shower, but I appreciate it,” Remus commented.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but certainly didn’t mind the compliments. Especially from the one person he actually wanted to look nice for. “Careful, or you’ll go right to my head.”

Remus just smiled at him softly, then held the door open to head into the lounge where James was waiting. Harry was sat on the floor putting together one of the lego sets they’d picked up the day before, and he grinned up at his godfather and Remus.

“Can I come with you?”

“Nah, Prongslet,” Sirius said, holding his arms out as Harry got up and ran to him. He hoisted the boy up in a hug, pressing so many kisses long Harry’s cheek that the boy started giggling uncontrollably. “It’ll be dead boring, and your mum wanted to take you to the sea.”

“The sea!” Harry cried, clambering back down to the ground. He rushed back to his lego, and Sirius looked over at Remus who was smiling fondly.

“We’ll see you before the show though, yeah?” James said, walking over to ruffle his boy’s hair. “Car’s already waiting.”

Remus beckoned them along, trying to keep them on schedule, and Sirius found Remus slipping into work mode was criminally attractive. This was what he was looking for. He was absolutely sure of it.

*** 

Remus sat in the corner of the studio as James and Sirius slipped into headphones. The DJ was a local celebrity, often pulling bigger names for his afternoon chat show, and Remus had just got done with going over the list of interview questions.

Remus had vetoed several regarding Sirius’ gender, and his past relationships, and two about his family. The rest were centred on James and Sirius’ friendship, their impending album which would begin recording after the tour, and a handful of questions about the songs they’d already released.

“Alright, welcome back. We’re pleased to bring James Potter and Sirius Black, frontmen of The Marauders into the studio today. How are you today?”

“Shattered,” Sirius said, leaning toward his mic. “But better than I am straight off the ruddy tour bus.”

“We’re in a hotel currently,” James clarified. “My wife and son flew in to visit so we’re taking a short holiday from the road.”

“Excellent. It must be hard not seeing them as often as you like,” the DJ said.

James shrugged. “I think we’re used to it, and honestly I make sure to dedicate as much time home as I spend on the road so I can catch most of the important stuff.”

“He’s got a no touring during footie season,” Sirius said, nudging James. “The Prongslet plays on a youth team.”

They spent a few moments talking about the life of a celebrity dad and celebrity godfather, and the DJ then brought up the photos of LegoLand.

“So we saw your selfies,” he said, smiling at Sirius, sparing a quick glance to Remus who he clearly recognised. “Lots of speculation about those.”

Sirius snorted a laugh. “There’s speculation about everything I post. I could photo my breakfast and there will be four conspiracy theories by noon.”

“True. But have you heard the term, Ship War?”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed, and they flickered over to Remus who tried his best to give Sirius a calming smile. “Vaguely.”

“You know a lot of your fans believe you’re in a relationship with James, here.”

“We’re aware,” James said dryly. “It’s probably all the kissing.”

“And the fact we share a bed on the road,” Sirius said, grinning sharply. “Of course I blame it on the heteronormative society who believes that men can’t engage in platonic affection, and that every interaction by men must have some latent homosexual undertones.”

Remus grinned widely at the DJ’s uncomfortable expression.

“Right well…you know how the fans are. They’ve coined you and your erm…”

“Friend and PR manager,” Sirius offered.

“Right. They’ve coined you PadMoon.”

“Oh that’s not clever at all,” Sirius admonished. “I know you lot can do better. Try harder, will you?”

The DJ gave a perfunctory laugh. “So is there anything to those rumours?”

“Which rumours?” Sirius challenged, glancing at Remus whose eyes had gone narrow with suspicion. He had vetoed any talk of relationships.

“That you’ve found that someone special?”

“Listen, no one is more special than Sirius,” James cut in. “He’s the love of everyone’s life, so in some sense, every ship is real. Right, love?”

Sirius laughed. “Too right.”

The DJ took a break to play music, and the boys put down their headphones, accepting a couple of lattes from the nearby Starbucks an intern delivered. Sitting back in his wheelie chair, Sirius spun it in a circle, ignoring the DJ in favour of grinning at Remus, then gave it a shove, skidding across the threadbare carpet toward the other man.

“Enjoying yourself?” Sirius asked in a low tone.

“Immensely,” Remus said with a wink. “If I wasn’t supposed to be preventing scandal, I’d grab you and snog you silly on this sofa.”

“Unf. Unfair, Moons.”

“Yes well…” Remus paused, looking over at the DJ who looked like he was having an enthusiastic, yet quiet conversation on his mobile. “Maybe I’ll make it up to you later.”

“Mm, and maybe I’ll serenade you with a love song tonight.”

Remus’ cheeks went a bit pink, and he had to clench his fists to prevent himself from grabbing Sirius by the front of his shirt and snogging his little face off. “I can’t wait,” he whispered.

Sirius caught James’ head nod, drawing him back to the mic, and soon enough they were wired back in and the DJ looked like Christmas had come early.

“Alright, so I want to get down to gritty business because I’ve just got a phone call and I’m hoping for the exclusive on the book.”

Remus sat up straighter. This had not been on the list. This had not been discussed, and he had no idea what book. By the look on James and Sirius’ faces, they had no idea as well.

“Book?” James asked. He glanced at Remus who gave him a helpless shrug and mouthed, ‘I don’t know.’ “What book?”

“You don’t know? I mean, I’ve only just heard. Apparently he was keeping it very hush hush, but I was just informed that an ex of yours, Sirius, has published a tell-all relationship memoir of your one year affair with Gilderoy Lockhart.”

The room went absolutely silent. Sirius paled, and James’ hands clenched into tight fists. Remus was immediately on his feet, his head pounding with confusion because who the ruddy hell was Gildeory Lockhart, and why did Sirius look like he was about to vomit.

Eventually James let out a very strained laugh. “Well that’s news to us, mate. But don’t believe everything you hear. Some people will do anything to get Sirius’ attention. How can you resist that face, you know?”

Sirius glanced over at Remus who was now stood by the door, sending a furious text to Lily about what was happening. Normally they got updates. It was the firm’s job to send any media updates about the band to Remus if he’d not caught wind of it first. That’s what they had researchers and lawyers for.

“So no comment on the book? Or Gilderoy Lockhart?”

Sirius was still trembling, so James answered. “Nothing to say, mate. Not on that topic, anyway.”

Remus got a text off Lily telling him to end the interview immediately. Taking a step behind Sirius, he made a slashing motion across his neck at the DJ who looked vaguely frightened, gave him a curt nod.

“Well with that, I guess we can wrap this up. Thanks so much for coming down to the studio, and hopefully if you’re touring this way again, you’ll stop and say hi.”

James nudged Sirius, which seemed to shake him out of his stupor, and he cleared his throat. “You bet. Thanks for having us.”

“Thanks mate. And looking forward to seeing everyone tonight.”

“That was James Potter and Sirius Black of the Marauders. Now let’s get a listen to their current hit, Sing My Soul to Sleep.”

When the on air light dimmed, James rose, leaning across the desk. “What. Book. Who told you. I want names.”

“James,” Remus said, and flinched when the imposing man rounded on him. “I’ve got a text off Lily and she’s on it. None of us were informed.”

“Look man,” the DJ said, “I only got the call. It’s being published with Borgin Books and several magazines—including the Times and the Daily Prophet—have got advanced copies.”

Remus turned to James. “Who the bloody hell is Gilderoy Lockhart.”

“Someone we need to chat about in the car,” James said in a low growl. He was easing Sirius to his feet, an arm tight about his waist, and he was beckoning them along.

Remus stayed back for a moment, speaking to the station manager about a non-disclosure agreement regarding anything said off air. When that was sorted, Remus made his way to the car and slammed the door a little too hard.

“I cannot prevent things like this if I’m not aware of it,” he said, trying to keep the heat out of his voice. “The name sounds familiar but I can’t place it.”

“He’s some two-bit lounge singer,” James said, still holding Sirius’ hand. Sirius had his gaze fixed out the window at the passing scenery, and his face was still peaky. “He and Sirius dated off and on during sixth form.”

“He was at Hogwarts?” Remus asked, his voice strained. 

“Yeah. Came the year after you left,” James said. “It was…not pretty.”

Sirius let out a scoff, speaking for the first time since they got in the car. “That’s the understatement of the century. One I’m not interested in reliving. But if there’s a book…”

“I’ll sort it,” Remus said fiercely, and Sirius looked at him sharply. “I will. I’m not going to let you get hurt, Sirius. Not if I can help it.”

“What’s the point,” Sirius said, leaning into James slightly. “That was always going to come back and bite me on the arse. No less than I expected.”

*** 

Turns out, the book was real. Gilderoy had waited until James and Sirius had attained a level of fame which would benefit him before coming forward with his story. The book claimed a tell-all look into the youth, relationship, and ‘much more’. 

Remus could have strangled someone. Namely Gildeory Lockhart who had already booked several chat shows, and now Regulus’ mobile was ringing non-stop with people trying to book Sirius for a response. The book hadn’t been released, but there were several leaks, including the chapter where it detailed out the first time Gilderoy had sex with the now-famed singer.

Sirius performed as he always did, lively and excited. He was all smiles and selfies, though he stayed away from twitter and ignored any and all reporters before and after the show. Radio promos had been cancelled, and when they weren’t rehearsing or at sound checks, Sirius was holed up in the bus, refusing to speak to anyone.

Remus was beside himself, having spent all day on calls with the band’s lawyers who were ensuring the book’s publication would be halted.

“That’s not enough though, is it?” Remus all-but shouted. “The damage has already been done. You saw what was leaked. I can’t do my job properly if no one is on top of things like this! This has to be some violation of his rights!”

Remus was crashing head-first into a massive MS flare. His left eye had grown a spot he couldn’t see past, and half-way through the call, his fingers completely gave out. His legs were next, and it took him ten minutes to remember how to get himself onto the sofa to sit.

“Buggering fuck,” he slurred angrily.

A moment later, the partition to the back room of the bus slid open, and Sirius came out. He regarded Remus with some caution, frowning when Remus closed his left eye tightly. 

“You don’t sound well.”

“M’not,” Remus said, willing his tongue to just work properly for the first conversation he’d have with his would-be lover in two days. “I’ll be alright.”

“You pissed?”

“MS,” Remus said. He leant his head back, pressing on his left eye with his thumb, but the spot was there, obscuring most of his vision. He took a few, calming breaths as Sirius took a careful seat one cushion away. “Sorry.”

“Remus.” Sirius’ hand crossed the distance between them, and landed on his thigh. “Is this my fault?”

“No.” Remus counted to ten, and made his words slow and deliberate. His head was foggy, but he pressed on. “It’s this whole thing with Gilderoy. And I’m angry. I’m angry no one caught wind of this before the radio show. I’m angry that someone would do this to you.”

Sirius let out a shuddering breath, and shifted so he was pressed up close to Sirius, thigh-to-thigh. “Please don’t make yourself ill on my account.”

Remus gave a bitter laugh. “It happens. It’ll clear up. I just…I should sleep.”

As James, Lily, and Harry had flown to Portland, and Peter was on the bus with Regulus sorting out everything they could to take the pressure off Sirius, the pair had the bus to themselves. Sirius stood, taking both of Remus’ hands in his, and carefully eased him to his feet.

“My bed back there is comfortable. More than your little bunk. Come lay down with me, okay?”

Remus nodded, letting Sirius help him down the small corridor to the plush bed. Sirius carefully removed Remus’ trousers and shirt, shucking his own, along with his binder and ended up in boxers and a loose tee. He tucked the covers round them both, and when he laid back, he put his hand on the centre of Remus’ chest.

“I’ve been a bit of a bastard about this whole thing. And I’m sorry. You’re doing your best.”

“Don’t,” Remus whispered. “Please don’t apologise. This was not your fault. You don’t deserve someone trying to capitalise on you like this. That…that fucking…”

“You’re getting worked up again,” Sirius said, running the tips of his fingers up and down Remus’ sternum. The gesture was soothing and light, and Remus felt his entire body go lax at the touch. “Let’s forget about it for a while, yeah? Until we get to Portland.”

“Sure,” Remus said, unable to hold back the crushing fatigue any longer. He twisted to the side and let Sirius hold him tight. “M’sorry about all this. You deserve better.”

Sirius let his fingers tangle up in Remus’ curls drawing their heads together. Feathering kisses all along the side of Remus’ face, Sirius spoke in a soft whisper against Remus’ skin. “I do. I do deserve better and I won’t let that bastard drag me down. I know I’m fucking worthy, and I’m grateful for you and Jamie. And Peter and Lily. And even Reg for all he’s been a pain in my arse my entire life, he’s still my brother. And with family like this, I can deal. I really can.”

“You’re bloody amazing, Sirius Black,” Remus muttered, but he was half gone, and only barely heard Sirius’ whisper as he was drifting off.

“I am. But so are you.”

*** 

Remus woke late in the afternoon as the bus came to a halt to refuel. He was still in Sirius’ bed, but he was alone. His limbs felt much stronger, but his vision in his left eye was still next to nothing, and he knew these spells could last for weeks. 

Carefully making his way out of the bedroom, he found Sirius on the sofa talking quietly on his mobile. The moment he saw Remus, he rang off, and carefully tucked it away on the table. “Feeling any better?”

“Arms and legs are,” Remus said, flexing his fingers which were still a bit stiff. “My left eye is buggered though.”

Sirius frowned, beckoning Remus over. When the taller man sat, Sirius crouched onto his knees, and took Remus’ face between his hands. “Do you need an hospital?”

“Nah,” Remus said, leaning into Sirius’ hands. “If it doesn’t get better soon I’ll ring up my GP but this has happened before, and it’ll happen again. And it’s not your fault,” he added when he saw Sirius’ face fall. “Stress can exacerbate my symptoms but they don’t cause them. Please don’t blame yourself.”

“Alright,” Sirius said, drawing his hands down to Remus’ shoulders. “How about kissing though? Would kissing help?”

Just then, the bus rumbled to life and jerked forward, sending Remus sprawling onto Sirius, both of them knocked over on the sofa. Sharing a small laugh, Remus’ face hovered over Sirius’ and he spoke in a low, breathy tone. “I think your kisses might just work miracles, Sirius Black.”

Humming a low sound, Sirius reached up and cupped Remus’ face, drawing their mouths together. It was slow, languid and sweet, and Remus felt warmth spreading into all four limbs. Never in his life had he felt so content. So wanted. He felt like he could stay this way forever.

It was a moment, a breath, just a beat of time before he realised he’d said that aloud, and Sirius was smiling up at him with wonder in his eyes. “You mean that?”

Remus nodded, smiling gently, unable to hide it. “I do. I want…I don’t even really have words for it, you know? But I know I want you in every sense of the word.”

Sirius held him tight, fast, like Remus might disappear if he let go. “I want you too. If you’ll have me.”

“Oh my Moony, my beautiful Moony.” Sirius nuzzled Remus nose gently with his own, and feathered kisses across his cheek. “For as long as you’ll have _me_.”

*** 

**One Year Later**

Remus stood off the side of the stage, grinning like mad at his charismatic boyfriend. Had he known life was going to be so wonderful, he likely wouldn’t have fought Lily at all when she’d offered him the job to represent the Marauders. It hadn’t been an easy job, but loving Sirius had been the easiest and best thing he’d ever done. And it was the one thing he could look back on, and not feel a moment of regret.

Their encore song was getting ready to play. It was their first single released from their new album, and one Sirius had openly tweeted about when he and Remus decided to go public with their relationship. Remus, and the band’s lawyers hadn’t been successful in gagging Lockhart’s book, but Sirius took the release with as much grace as he was able to, supported by both James and Peter in every interview.

Eventually people got tired of asking questions Sirius refused to give the answers to, and of course there were a few angry songs on the new album the boys had written last minute in response to the violation. But mostly their new album was about love. About acceptance and the unconditional loyalty they had for each other.

Remus knew it was never going to be easy for Sirius, or for anyone in the position of such extreme fame, but amongst all of that, he’d found someone to love. Someone he could come home to every night. Someone he knew had soft kisses and a gentle embrace waiting to envelope him on both his good and bad days.

Someone he trusted wouldn’t be gone when his body gave out and he couldn’t work anymore. When he was using a wheelchair, or if he had trouble speaking. Sirius would never view him as less, and never see him as anything other than who he was.

And god he was so in love.

He caught Sirius’ cheeky grin as the trumpet sound began to play along with the techno beat. James looked over at Remus as well, and he grinned widely as the pair of them began to move in sync with each other. They were both gripping the top of the mic, their heads swaying, taking a deep breath to begin the song.

The words flowed out, deep and intense, and Remus remembered the night Sirius had finished the song. He and James had been working hard on it at the studio, and Sirius had walked in to Remus sorting out lentils for their night’s tea.

He came up behind Remus, wrapping his arms round his lover, his mouth poised behind Remus’ ear right where his moon tattoo sat. His voice came out a low whisper, full of melody as he serenaded Remus with the lyrics, rocking him slowly back and forth to a yet-unheard beat as he sent a waterfall of lyrics to mean I love you. With my whole being, with my whole soul, I love you.

Remus turned when it was over, unmindful of the cooking food as he took Sirius’ face in his hands and kissed him slow, trying to pour everything he felt for this man into that gesture. “I love you so much, Sirius.”

Grinning against his lips, Sirius kissed back. “And I love you, Moonbeam. That song’s for you, you know. I know the way to that beautiful little heart of yours.”

“Mm, such a romantic. I can’t wait to hear you serenade me on stage.”

“Just you wait, love,” Sirius vowed. “Just you wait.”

And now here he was, singing loud into the mic for the entire concert hall to hear. Words he’d written for Remus, a declaration of promises to last forever. For as long as Remus would have him.

Which was, Remus was absolutely certain, forever.


End file.
